“Thanks (Sort of) for the Rejection” – May Actually Be a Good Idea

Published on August 19th, 2014 by Alan L Sklover

“Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough;
it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.”

 -      Mark Amend  

ACTUAL “CASE HISTORIES”: Every now and then I come upon a workplace-related idea that is so simple and sensible that I just can’t help but pass it along to my readers. In a recent edition of Bottom Line Personal magazine, I came across one such idea submitted to the magazine by Susan P. Joyce, President of a company named NETability, Inc. 

Her idea is this: Job applicants who are rejected from a hoped-for position should send “Thank You” notes to their interviewers or Hiring Manager. Why? It seems there are lots of good reasons to do so, among them: 

1. To express gratitude for being considered.  

2. To exhibit your continued interest in working for the company, perhaps in another position or capacity.  

3. To “keep the conversation going.”  

4. To bring up your name to those with hiring authority just one more time.  

5. To stand out from the crowd, that is, the majority who do not say “Thank you.”  

6. To show maturity, humility and depth of personality.  

7. To express continued interest in case the person chosen decides not to accept the position.  

8. To share a sense of disappointment but not one of discouragement.  

9. Perhaps to share a thought about something that came up in your interview.  

10. To illustrate that you are a person who does not “give up” easily.  

11. Because it costs nothing and may be worth a lot.  

12. Perhaps a much better question is: Why not?  

LESSON TO LEARN: When hunting for a job, don’t let rejection get you down. Instead see it as an opportunity to show others that you are not someone who is easily discouraged. If the name of the game is to get a job, keep at it, and if you do so the chances are only increased that you will, in the end, get the job. Say “Thank you.” There’s no downside to it. And keeping in touch sure can’t hurt. Everyone’s been rejected; successful people don’t give up. It’s that simple. 

WHAT YOU CAN DO: If you are rejected for a position you really wanted, by a company you really wanted to work for, in a role you thought would “fit you like a glove,” don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t take rejection personally. Instead, give it another shot, and another shot after that. Keep the conversation going. Send a “Thank You” note, and keep in touch. The world belongs to the perseverant. Here are six more thoughts: Continue Reading. . .

Sklover’s Thought for the Work Week

Published on August 18th, 2014 by Alan L Sklover

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“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

– Robin Williams

Being alone is an objective fact, a fact that can be altered simply by the approach or presence of a friend. Even if that friend is your own self. Feeling all alone is quite different, for it is a state of mind, an ache of the heart, a body among many in a prison without bars, all inescapable by any known means. At work, at home and elsewhere, strive to make connections, and work to build connections, with those you may meet on the path who are daring enough to share your life.

© 2014 Alan L. Sklover. All Rights Reserved

[If you would like to contribute a favored quote, saying or proverb, please submit it to us at info@SkloverWorkingWisdom.com].


Injunction – Key Words & Phrases

Published on August 14th, 2014 by Alan L Sklover

Key Words

What is the meaning of:


An “injunction” is a Court order that requires a person to either (a) do, or (b) stop doing, a specific action.

It is considered an extraordinary judicial remedy because it extends the power of the Court into the lives of people in a way that is much more intrusive that would be a verdict for monetary damages. In fact, if a person fails to comply with a Court’s injunction, he or she can be held in “contempt of court,” and even jailed.

In general, there are two kinds of injunctions: “Preliminary” or “Permanent.” A “Preliminary” injunction is commonly requested at the very beginning of a lawsuit when someone claims to the Court “it is essential that we protect the status quo. We cannot wait years until the end of this lawsuit, or greater – perhaps irreparable – damage will be done.” If granted, a preliminary injunction lasts only until the end of the lawsuit.

For example, if an employer has reason to believe that an employee has stolen a secret and valuable recipe or chemical formula, it might ask the Court to issue a Preliminary Injunction at the beginning of a lawsuit regarding this issue.

Because Preliminary Injunctions are requested before the Court knows all of the facts – not just the employer’s version of the facts – the Court will require a strong showing of evidence before agreeing to issue the requested injunction.

At the end of a lawsuit, if the person bringing the lawsuit is found deserving of long-term protection, then a “Permanent” injunction may be issued by the Court, to remain in force indefinitely.

We are often involved in cases involving injunctions when an employer seeks to stop a former employee from allegedly stealing secrets or violating a non-compete agreement.

To obtain a copy of our 185-Point Master Guide & Checklist to Non-Compete’s, just [click here.] 

Fortunately, through “self-help,” non-compete agreements can be “navigated,” negotiated, defended against, and, quite often, defeated. That takes some knowledge, insight and perspective on restrictive covenants.

We provide Model Letters for your Self-Help to address issues of Non-Compete Agreements and other restrictions. Just [click here] and see Section M [Non-Compete Agreements and Other Restrictions.]    

To learn more about these matters, simply [click here.]  

© 2014 Alan L. Sklover. All Rights Reserved. Commercial Use Strictly Prohibited

“How can I diplomatically ask why I did not receive a workplace Award?”

Published on August 11th, 2014 by Alan L Sklover

Question: I have been nominated four times for an Honor Award at work but have not once been chosen. I wonder why this has happened in a repeated fashion, and this has led to considerable self-doubt.

I must admit that I am one to periodically challenge decisions made by others if I truly believe they are in error, and I believe, as well, that I am quite effective in my role.

How might I diplomatically raise this issue in an email to my superiors?

Melbourne, Australia

Answer: Dear Dahlia: Your question is a rather unusual one, yet one that I particularly appreciate receiving. You remind me of myself, several decades ago, and so I particularly appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts with you and others.

1. To begin, let us first appreciate the fact that being nominated for an Award is, in itself, an acknowledgement of your value. I do not mean that your concern is without valid basis; far from it. However, no one should be completely disappointed – or doubt one’s abilities and worth – by repeatedly being nominated but not chosen. Some of our very best athletes do not gain entrance to the Halls of Fame, and some of the very best actors never receive the Golden Statuette. There is no shame, and a great deal to be proud of, in being among those who are nominated several times. So, first, see the brighter side of things with the “attitude of gratitude.”

2. Any inquiry to workplace managers that seems potentially “sensitive” is best expressed this way: “How can I better serve you?” In many workplace circumstances, employees need to request information, assurances, or other responses that might seem potentially “sensitive” to the recipients. I always encourage clients in such circumstances to do so in a way that sounds more like “How can I better serve you?” This is because when employees express in one way or another “I want, I need, I deserve,” the emotional response of the recipient often is “Everyone says that.” But if you “speak to” the person in words that are “sweeter” to their ears, the same question often receives a “sweeter” response.  

For example, if you are unhappy with your (a) small raise, (b) failure to receive a promotion, (c) a low discretionary bonus, or other such disappointment, “Hey, I got shortchanged!” does not work as well as “Is there any way I might be viewed as deserving that reward, and if so, I will strive to do that or achieve that for you.” It’s just a matter of human nature: we are all better tuned into our own welfare and happiness than the welfare and happiness of others.

3. In fact, you might start off your inquiry with a hearty “Thank you!” Though it might seem counter-intuitive, you might begin your inquiry with a “Thank you for the nominations, which I so very much appreciate.” As a young lawyer, I learned that I could get so much more from Judges if I began my request with a “Thank you, Your Honor, for the Court’s willingness to entertain my motion. In that light, might I request the Court also consider X, Y and Z,” when all along I was actually upset with the Judge in the first place. And, of course, I smiled, because “Smiles automatically and immediately increase your face value.” Yes, I found myself far more successful when making requests when I began my sentence with “Thank you” even when I felt something quite different.

4. Your inquiry can mention each of the outstanding contributions you have made, so long as it does not sound like “Hey, boss, you sure made a mistake.” Rather, I might suggest that you express, preferably in writing, something like “I always do my best, and in that light did accomplish A, B and C, which I thought would likely be sufficient to be provided the Honor Award. Might you suggest additional contributions that would likely be viewed as deserving of the Honor Award and, if so, I will strive to achieve them, as well.”

In this way, too, you are not saying “I deserve it,” but rather “Though I did contribute my best, what else might I do for you, which I would also do my best to do?” and in doing so you are making mention of your outstanding contributions in a more “welcome” and “palatable” way.

5. One common workplace dynamic that I do want to share with you: “achievers,” and especially “over-achievers,” are often viewed as potential “competitors” by Managers, who may fear losing their own jobs. I have seen it more times than I can count, and I have experienced it myself when I was an employee: Sure, your Managers want you to be an achiever, but they do not want you to be a “great achiever,” because that might just make them fear you as a potential competitor for their own jobs.

This would only be made worse if you are a person who is not afraid to challenge decisions of others if you believe better decisions should be considered, for the betterment of all. You did describe yourself in that way in your question.

If you do that, I would encourage you to continue to do that, because the world needs better ideas, better decisions, and better ways of doing things. But at the same time, temper it a bit, make your suggestions ones that your Managers might take credit for – Managers LOVE to take credit for employees’ ideas – and do a little more to “polish their apple” than to polish your own.

Recall the fundamental key to negotiation: what the other person seeks is more important than what you seek, because what they seek is THE KEY to your getting what you seek.

Dahlia, I truly hope this is helpful to you, and that at a very minimum, you’ll give it a good try, and in doing so bear in mind the dynamics of workplace negotiation. Please send my best regards to all of my blog visitors “Down Under.”

My Best,
Al Sklover

P.S.: Want to learn more about workplace negotiating? Consider viewing our Sklover On Demand Video entitled “Can I Really Negotiate with My Boss?” Just sit back, relax, watch and listen. To do so, just [click here.]

  Repairing the World,
One Empowered – and Productive – Employee at a Time™

© 2014, Alan L. Sklover All Rights Reserved. Commercial Use Prohibited.

Sklover’s Thought for the Work Week

Published on August 11th, 2014 by Alan L Sklover

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“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

– William Arthur Ward

Please, please, please, remember that expressing appreciation is one of the most powerful motivators, and producers of good relations, that exist. It provides both uplift to the spirits and cement to the bond between people. And, oh yes, it costs nothing. At work, express gratitude to at least one person at least once every day. May I begin your work week with my own sincere expression of gratitude to you – my blog readers – who provide me with motivation, inspiration and even exhilaration on a daily basis. I thank you, and I appreciate you, for being a part of this grandiose and faith-based effort to repair a part of everyone’s world. 

© 2014 Alan L. Sklover. All Rights Reserved

[If you would like to contribute a favored quote, saying or proverb, please submit it to us at info@SkloverWorkingWisdom.com].


Alan L. Sklover

Alan L. Sklover

Employment Attorney
and Career Strategist
for over 30 years

Job Security and Career Success now depend on knowing how to navigate and negotiate to gain the most for your skills, time and efforts. Learn the trade secrets and 'uncommon common sense' of Attorney Alan L. Sklover, the leading authority on "Negotiating for Yourself at Work™".

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