Resigning From Your Job – The 21 Necessary Precautions
Published on May 8th, 2006 by Alan L Sklover
“Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
ACTUAL CASE HISTORY: Claudia was always near the top of her class, in high school, in college, and in business school. And so it was in her hotel industry career: within eight years of her joining the world’s second largest hotel company as a management trainee she rose to its corporate headquarters, as its Senior Vice President of Sourcing. As always before, she was once again “near the top.”
From Claudia’s perspective, promotions were never a problem. Time and again her hard work and solid reputation for near-total devotion preceded her. She didn’t seek promotions; they seemed to seek her. When she was contacted by an executive recruiter about a position as Chief Operating Officer of a direct competitor, Claudia took it in stride. It seemed like one more validation of what her parents had always taught her: hard work will reward itself. After consulting with her husband, she decided to aggressively seek the position.
Claudia’s eight interviews over four days went extremely well. She got along especially well with the company’s new CEO, for whom she’d be working. She was presented an offer that nearly doubled her present compensation, and the opportunity – for the first time in her life – for considerable financial security. She soon accepted. Human Resources was then assigned the task of preparing her employment contract, and Claudia hired legal counsel to review its terms.
Claudia had never been in this situation before: she’d never left a company since business school. She decided to handle all aspects of the resignation process herself, relying on her considerable common sense and people skills. She composed a wonderful resignation letter, and distributed it to her direct boss and her closest colleagues. In her resignation letter, she explained to her colleagues how much they meant to her, but given her new title and assignment, how strongly this new opportunity beckoned. She offered to do whatever was necessary to make the transition a smooth one. Unfortunately, it was anything but smooth.
The first “dark clouds” appeared the very next morning, when Claudia arrived, with Starbucks cup in hand, and turned on her computer. It was frozen; apparently her password had been changed. Her first call, to the Information Technology Dept., was referred to Human Resources. She was asked to come to HR for a brief meeting. When Claudia arrived, she saw four people in the conference room: the HR Director, her boss, his boss, and the company’s General Counsel. The conversation was brief, led by the company’s HR Director. Claudia was advised that her departure was not viewed in a positive manner, especially her going to a direct competitor. There was concern that Claudia would use her knowledge of the company’s sourcing strategies and methods – especially its new plans to build their own factories in Asia – for her new employer’s benefit, maybe even suggest they do the same. That exact scenario was suggested by some of what Claudia mentioned in her resignation letter. She was also asked if the days she’d taken days off as sick days during the past few weeks which were, in fact, used for interviewing; in fact, they had.
The clouds only grew “darker” when Claudia spoke to her attorneys. Their review of the proposed contract offered by her new employer indicated several significant problems, some extremely problematic. The position wasn’t all she’d been led to believe. The requirement that she spend almost half of her time in Asia was a complete surprise. The one-year term of employment and two-year non-compete requirement were both unacceptable. Finally, there was a requirement that, if she ever left, if Claudia didn’t give at least 90 days notice, she would have to pay back her last year’s bonus, commonly called a “clawback.”
Two weeks later, when Claudia was served with legal papers by her then-former employer, alleging she’d shared trade secrets and committed fraud regarding her sick days, she knew this was surely not going to be the best chapter in her career story. In fact, it was little short of a nightmare. How could it all have gone so wrong?
LESSON TO LEARN: Ending an employment relation in the right way is far more complicated than most people believe. Resigning from a job, and transitioning to another, is deceptively complex, as the process is just loaded with potentially serious risks. If not handled with caution and care, resigning from your job can be extremely costly. There are, though, identifiable precautions that you can take to eliminate, or at least minimize, your risks in resigning.
To make resigning easier for you, we offer (i) Model Letters and Memos, (ii) a 100-Point Pre-Resignation Checklist, and (iii) our “Ultimate Resignation Package.” For more info [click here].
WHAT YOU CAN DO: Over the years, we’ve identified 21 precautions you should take – or at least consider taking — to eliminate, or at least minimize, risks in resigning form your job. Here’s our list.
A. BEFORE You Give Notice
1. Must You Give Notice?: By “notice,” we mean “notification that your last day of employment will be in a certain, specified number of days, weeks or months.” No law requires notice of resignation, although sometimes it is legally required, for example if you’ve signed a contract that requires you to give notice.
The purpose of giving advance notice of resignation is to give your employer the opportunity and time to arrange transition of your duties, and for you to cooperate in that process. It also provides you with an opportunity to do what you can not to “burn bridges” of any kind – with colleagues, clients or your employer. Giving advance notice is generally in your interests, and in your employer’s interests, as well, as a matter of mutual professionalism, and as a way to preserve good feelings post-employment relation. It’s considered poor form not to give notice.
On the other hand, giving notice may not be in your interests if you are certain that you will be harmed by doing so; as an example, employers of some of our clients have reacted to receiving notice by trying to sabotage the employee’s next job. If it’s absolutely necessary to start a new job, or to attend to personal matters before starting a new job, or if you feel reprisals may take place, it’s not absolutely necessary to give advance notice. Don’t forget: that these days many employers don’t give any notice at all when terminating individuals; sometimes terminated employees are even immediately marched out the door, at times accompanied by guards.
2. Are You Certain You Really Want to Leave?: Perhaps the most fundamental precautions to take in resigning from your job are these two questions: first, why are you leaving? And second, are you sure you really want to leave? At times, disappointment and disillusionment can blind us to the very substantial blessings and opportunities we enjoy. At other times, the grass on the other side of the street seems far greener than it really is.
Perhaps the worst mistake is leaving a job because you’ve concluded that you will never receive rewards, promotions or other objectives when, in fact, you’ve never clearly or resolutely requested those very same rewards, promotions or other objectives. Too many people forget that “If you don’t ask, you won’t get.” You may say to yourself, “I’m sure they know I’m unhappy, and why I’m unhappy,” or “I shouldn’t even have to ask for this,” but you must not forget to consider your boss’s point of view for a moment: he or she is probably preoccupied with 1,000 other things that your dissatisfaction and its causes may not be nearly so obvious to him or her as you think.
3. Are You Sure You’re “Free” to Leave?: There are a surprising number of reasons you may not be “free” to leave your employment These include: (a) employment contracts you may have entered into with a defined “term” of employment; (b) retention agreements you may have signed by which you were paid a sum of money to stay for a period of time after, commonly, a merger of companies; (c) so-called “garden-leave” agreements you may have signed by which you agreed to give a certain number of days, weeks or months of pre-resignation notice; (d) non-compete agreements (and related restrictive covenants) you may have signed that limit where you can work in the future; (e) immigration law requirements that permit you to work in a country only so long as you are working for a certain employer; (f) agreements you may have signed that require you to pay back to your employer monies it gave to you in the past if you don’t work for a certain period of time, such as (i) education grants, (ii) relocation payments, (iii) even certain bonus awards; (g) loans that you may owe your employer that require immediate repayment upon resignation; (h) so-called “golden handcuffs” that entail loss of unvested options, restricted stock and other entitlements that have not yet vested; (i) even provisions that you never signed, but exist in an employee handbook, that say that employees who do not provide a minimum of, say, two months notice will be considered fired for “cause,” with all of the negative implications that may have for your finances and reputation.
4. Secrecy About Your Intentions Is Essential: There are many reasons to keep you intentions to resign to yourself. Everyone has interests, and each person’s interests are different. In fact, you can put a friend into a very difficult spot – even a situation harmful to him or her – if you share your intentions. Some people, including HR rep’s, supervisors and recruiters have a legal obligation to share such “news” with your employer. Should your intentions somehow get out, it may then become impossible to change your mind, even if your new job falls through. As Ben Franklin said, “Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” And as former Intel Chairman Andy Grove entitled his book, “Only the paranoid survive.”
5. Get Your Next Employment Confirmed First: If there’s one pre-resignation precaution you need to remember and follow, it’s this one: you don’t want to resign and then later find out that your next job hasn’t materialized. Nothing could be worse.
While nothing you can do can make 100% sure your next job will become a reality, you can and should do everything in your power to make sure there are as few hitches as possible in the process. That’s accomplished by carefully inquiring about each of the material points of your new job with your future boss of HR, and obtaining from them a written confirmation. Sometimes those will be set forth in an offer letter, or even a contract; most people get neither. Even that shouldn’t stop you from preparing a written confirmation of your own, and asking you future boss for his or her written approval, by email or letter. Any written confirmation should include such things as your start date, your title, your responsibilities, your compensation, your benefits, your reporting structure, and the location of your office. However you do it, do everything you can to get your hiring confirmed in writing from your new employer before submitting your resignation to your present employer.
6. What You Can – And Can’t – Take With You: This one’s easy: keep what’s yours; leave what’s theirs. However, sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two. The difficulties usually arise with (a) lists of information, such as your personal rolodex; employers often view these as their confidential information, trade secrets, or customer list; (b) copies of documents, such as the best research report you wrote two years ago that you’d like to keep as a writing sample; employers often view these as their proprietary property; and (c) smaller pieces of equipment, such as cell phones, Blackberry’s, pagers, laptops and the like. As a general rule, if there is a dispute over who owns equipment, surrender it after taking personal information off it. If there’s a dispute over who owns information or documents, give it to your employer but keep a copy. One special precaution: especially if you believe you may end up being sued by your previous employer for any reason, if your home computer has any company-related files on it for any reason, you would be well-advised to replace the its hard drive, and install onto the new hard drive only personal information. This way, you can’t be accused of retaining or sharing company information in the future.
7. Strategic Timing of Your Departure: Timing is a big part of resigning. The important message here: don’t fail to take into account important upcoming dates of all kinds. These include (a) the date on which your bonus will be paid; (b) vesting of stock options, restricted stock, and the like; (c) your hire-date anniversary, that may affect future pension credits; (c) 401k contribution dates; (e) end-dates of present insurance coverages, and start-dates of future insurance coverages, to ensure no gaps in between; (f) scheduled pay raises, for final salary may impact pension and other long-term payment calculations; (g) long-term retirement and health plan “rules” of 65, 75 and the like, that are based on age and years of service.
8. Consider Having an Employment Attorney “On Call”: In employment matters, it’s always preferable to keep attorneys – and even mention of attorneys — out of discussions. That being said, knowing your legal rights, and having an attorney ready to act in the event of unforeseeable events, may be a smart idea. You don’t want to experience delay if, as examples, you’re accused of impropriety, served with legal papers, or publicly defamed.
B. WHEN You Give Notice
9. Who to Speak With First: As a general rule, it’s proper procedure to give notice of resignation directly to your immediate supervisor, provided he or she is available; if not available, then to his or her immediate superior. That being, said, if you have a “rabbi,” mentor or “godfather” in your organization, and that person has been especially helpful in the course of your career, it may prove wise to provide that person with a respectful “heads-up thank you” before giving notice. These sorts of special business relations need to be treated with the utmost sensitivity.
10. How Much Notice?: The first question is “Have you agreed to give at least some minimum notice?” If so, you should honor that agreement. If not, the proper notice period depends on you, your title, and your level of responsibilities. On a clerical level, the most common notice period is two weeks. For those with greater responsibilities, the expected level of notice rises to some four weeks; whether there are others who can step in to fulfill your essential tasks may dictate even greater notice. It’s not unheard of for senior executives with unique talents and relations to give 60 to 90 days notice. [Bear in mind the dictates of strategic timing, laid out in Precaution 7, above.]
11. What to Say, and How to Say It: You should give your resignation in person, with an immediate follow-up letter. In both your in-person, oral resignation, and in your follow-up resignation letter, three things are essential: First, “I’ve decided to resign.” Second, “My last day with the company will be. [a certain date.] Third, “Thank you for the opportunity to work with you.” Any more than that can only hurt you. You should specifically avoid negativity, your reasons for leaving, and the identity of your next employer. You should avoid responding to emotional pleas. Instead, you should be clear, dispassionate and resolute. This 1 – 2 – 3 approach is, without a doubt, the most effective and least risky way to submit your oral resignation.
12. Keep Your Emotions in Check: Leaving a job entails ending several close and important relations at once. It can be an emotional time, with both good and bad emotions rising to the surface. You should do everything you can to keep those emotions, of every kind, beneath the surface. It always helps to do all you can to reduce stress and anxiety at a time like this by extra measures of, among other things, exercise, prayer, yoga, meditation and other non-harmful practices. Likewise, this is a good time to stay clear of relations or situations that usually induce anxiety.
13. Be Prepared for a Counter-Offer to Stay: Counter-offers, and acceptance of counter-offers, are becoming more and more common. In fact, some clients seek employment opportunities elsewhere merely to provoke a counter-offer from their present employer. We advise our clients to treat counter-offers with supreme suspicion because “If they didn’t appreciate you before you got another job, are you sure they’ll truly appreciate you after that prospective job is no longer available to you?”
If you’re considering accepting a counter-offer, there are three essential points to insist upon: (a) that it must be placed into a written, signed agreement, (b) that it be completed and signed in just a few days, to ensure that it does not merely “spoil” your new job possibility, and (c) that it clearly state that the promised promotion, raise, bonus or other reward, be given to you “guaranteed, in all events, and to last no less than one full year.” Otherwise, you may be promoted for one day and then fired, or promised a bonus next year, but fired next week.
14. Be Prepared, As Well, to Be Shown the Door: It’s also possible that, upon your giving notice of resignation, you may be fired “on the spot.” What’s the likelihood? You can generally tell by how your employer has acted in the past. It always pays to be prepared to be shown the door. Besides the other precautions noted above, it’s always wise to quietly remove personal information from your office computer, take home copies of non-secret “portfolio” materials, and quietly make an inventory of purely personal items – pictures and the like – in your office, for later removal.
C. AFTER You Give Notice
15. Visiting HR for the “Exit Interview”: Over the past few years, a new office “ritual” has become commonplace, in which HR inquiries and issues are answered, completed and resolved. At least those are the espoused purposes of “exit interviews.” In most companies, participation is not mandatory; if your company claims it is mandatory for you, you might ask what the “penalty(s)” may be for refusal.
For your purposes, bring a pad, and ask all questions you may have, including: (a) Who should I contact in the future if I have questions?; (b) Can I have a copy of my HR file?; (c) How do I arrange for continuation of various insurance policies?; (d) When returning keys, cell phones, ID cards and the like, do I get a receipt?; (e) Will I get paid accrued but unused vacation, personal and sick days; if so, how many?; and (f) How long do I have to submit receipts for unpaid business and/or medical expenses?
HR may have its own objectives to be fulfilled in an “exit interview,” about which you must be cautious. They include: (a) getting you to sign things you should not sign, such as releases; (b) asking why you are leaving, which is not their business; (c) reminding you of your confidentiality (and possibly non-compete) obligations; (d) asking you where you’ll be working, which is not their business, and (e) giving you your federal C.O.B.R.A. insurance-continuation forms.
In your exit interview, please don’t ever consider doing these four things: (1) believe your HR rep is your friend; (2) sign anything other than a receipt for forms given to you; (3) criticize former colleagues or bosses; or (4) discuss your future plans.
16. Consider Committee and Board Memberships: Your job may entail your participation on internal committees and task forces, as well as external trade groups and associations. Though it is often automatic, consider how best to resign from each internal group, making sure not to burn bridges in doing so. If you’ve acted as your employer’s representative on external boards and the like, your resignation from your present job may not require your complete resignation fro the trade group or association, but merely a re-designation as an at-large member. Don’t presume you need to resign from such trade groups upon resignation, as they may prove invaluable to you in future employment.
Incidentally, always inquir about whether your service on boards and committees entitles you to continued protection of insurance coverages, including “directors and officers” (“D&O”) policies, and “errors and omissions” (“E&O”) policies. If you believe fiduciary obligations may leave you open to future lawsuits, request written assurances of continuing insurance and indemnity coverages, as well. .
17. Trade Secrets and Later Competing With Your Employer: There are two kinds of restrictions that may continue to affect you after you leave your employer: (a) those the law places on you, and (b) those only you can place on yourself by signing an agreement to do so. The first category – the kind the law places on you – is aimed mostly at not permitting you to steal things from your employer, including valuable “trade secrets,” which are defined as “information, developed through effort and expense, and kept secret, that gives your employer a business advantage.” Examples include chemical formulas, customer lists and marketing plans. These are protected by the law; you can go to jail for taking them with you.
The latter category – restrictions you’ve agreed to – include the common “non-competition” agreement and their “cousins.” If you haven’t signed one of these, either as a separate agreement or as part of an agreement to accept employment, stock options, a bonus, or some other reward, you can usually presume you’ll be free of future restrictions.
As a general rule, unless you (a) steal secrets or other valuable property, or (b) violate the terms of a written agreement to restrict your future activities, you are entirely free to later compete with your employer, consistent with our free enterprise system.
18. Remember: A Resignation is Not a Release: It’s important to bear in mind that resigning from your job entails only one thing: ending the relation; resigning has no direct effect on moneys owed you, or other claims you may have against your employer. By resigning from your job you are not releasing your employer from any obligations your employer may still have to you, of any kind, whether they are regarding pension calculations, raises promised but denied, illegal harassment or discrimination, or regarding retaliation against you for “whistle-blowing.”
For this reason, This means, first, that you should never sign any release form or similar document handed to you at your exit interview or sent to you afterwards. Also, be aware that you have more time to make any claims you may have against your employer. For federal “Sarbanes-Oxley retaliation claims, you have 90 days. For discrimination claims, you may have 180 or 310 days, depending on the state you live in. For claims of defamation, you may have up to one year. For claims of negligence or fraud, you may have up to three years. For claims of broken contracts or promises, you may have up to six years. These deadlines vary from state to state and, of course, should be discussed with an attorney.
19. Are You Due Severance? There’s a Good Chance: It may seem counter-intuitive, but even those who resign may be due, or be able to collect, severance. First, under certain agreements or benefit plans, and under certain circumstances, you could be entitled to resign and still collect severance. For example, after a corporate merger, many companies request that you remain in your job, but entitle you to severance if your duties change substantively. In this case, you can resign, and collect severance, too. As another example, employees who resign after they have been harassed, discriminated against, or retaliated against for “whistle-blowing” may both resign and collect severance, too. Never presume you’re not entitled to collect severance.
20. References, Recommendations and Departure Statements: Though nearly every company has a policy against giving out post-employment “references,” one of the best things you can do before you resign is to confidentially ask superiors, colleagues and even clients if they would serve as future references for you. Especially if asked respectfully, chances are they will say “yes.” One thing’s for sure: you’ll have enhanced credibility, leverage and confidence in every future interview if you can readily produce written testimonials to your dedication, knowledge, abilities and value. We suggest you offer to produce a “draft” for such people, as these days everyone’s so busy, and to do so only makes it that much easier for them. Incidentally, we refer these as “departure statements” to counter any suggestion from HR representatives that they violate corporate policies.
21. When Can You Tell Others of Your Move?: That’s a trick question, meant to tell if you’re still alert after reading this far. There are two parts to your “move,” departure and arrival. Regarding your departure, you’re entirely free to tell people you’ll be leaving, as soon as you’ve given your notice of resignation to your superior.
The “arrival” information is a very different story. While the fact you’re leaving can be shared, you should do your utmost not to tell clients and customers where you’re going, because this invites potentially severe legal troubles. Why? That’s because you could be accused of “soliciting” them to go with you, which would be both a reason for your company to fire you before you left voluntarily, possibly suing you for theft of trade secrets or interfering with their business while you’re employed by them, as well as a reason for your “old” employer to contact your “new” employer and insist they not hire you, or face a “poaching” lawsuit. This is essentially a lawsuit in which one company accuses another of “stealing” its employees and clients, illegally. It’s a messy thing, something you don’t want to be part of, and something you can avoid by keeping your silence about where it is you’re headed. It’s for this reason “where you’re headed” is something to be shared only after “you’ve arrived there.” Once you’ve left, then soliciting the business of old clients and even former colleagues to come join you becomes “fair game.”
These are not all of the precautions that need by taken by resigning executives, but they are the 21 precautions we view as most necessary. Every person, every assignment, every company and every transition has unique problems. You should try to customize your own precautions to address your employer’s facts, history and culture.
SkloverWorkingWisdom™ emphasizes smart negotiating – and navigating – for yourself at work. Negotiation and navigation of work and career issues requires that you think “out of the box,” and avoid risks at every point in your career. Knowing ways to lower and eliminate risks gives you a distinct advantage in navigating workplace life. Knowing ways to avoid and resolve disputes is even more advantageous. Learning the “in’s and out’s” of doing so is what we are here for. Now it’s up to you.
Always be proactive. Always be creative. Always be persistent. Always be vigilant. And always do what you can to achieve for yourself, your family, and your career. Take all available steps to increase and secure employment “rewards” and eliminate or reduce employment “risks.” That’s what SkloverWorkingWisdom™ is all about.
To make resigning easier for you, we offer (i) Model Letters and Memos, (ii) a 100-Point Pre-Resignation Checklist, and (iii) our “Ultimate Resignation Package.” For more info [click here].
A note about our Actual Case Histories: In order to preserve client confidences, and protect client identities, we alter certain facts, including the name, age, gender, position, date, geographical location, and industry of our clients. The essential facts, the point illustrated and the lesson to be learned, remain actual.
Please Note: This Newsletter is not legal advice, but only an effort to provide generalized information about important topics related to employment and the law. Legal advice can only be rendered after formal retention of counsel, and must take into account the facts and circumstances of a particular case. Those in need of legal advice, counsel or representation should retain competent legal counsel licensed to practice law in their locale.
© 2006 Alan L. Sklover, All Rights Reserved.















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I really enjoy this power method and want to encourage you to send more. Thanks
Wow! I was thinking about leaving this job I have had for 7 months, because they never treated me as an equal, yet when I went on maternity leave, they asked if I would like to come back. However, never offered a raise, or promotion. This information really helped me. Now, I can look for another job with confidence. Thank you!
-Shyla C. Beringer.
Glad we could help. There’s always a lot you can do to help yourself…if you know how. That’s what we’re here for.
Al Sklover
Very helpful and informative. Thank you
I am leaving a job I’ve had for 11+ years. Thank you for a well written and informative artical. This will help me greatly when I hand in my resignation.
WOW. This was very helpful, and a little scary. I have already given notice (verbal) to my employer without any idea of the things mentioned in this article. I don’t have another position yet and have 45 days before I’m suppose to leave. You’ve given me much to consider.
Very informative article. Do you ask for the reference before you leave or when you begin another job search?
This is very helpful and very informative. I will be giving my resignation in few days, a company that I’ve been with for 20 years. Thanks so much for this website.
Hello, i am gonna give my resignation letter tomorrow. I remember my boss told me to let them know with 2 weeks of anticipation, so i am doing that. I already got another job, i signed with them, and i am just concerned about how the paperwork will work. I have a
401K Plan with this company and i will have with the new one too. Do i need to cancel this plan with this company or is it possible to transfer all the paperwork to the new one? What about my insurance? Thank you fot the article, it was amazingly helpul.
Dear JM,
Each 401k program sponsored by an employer has a designated person, usually called the “Trustee” or “Administrator” who handles the paperwork for employees when they leave. Find out who your 401 program’s “Trustee” or “Administrator” is from your company’s CEO, President or Head of HR. Send the “Trustee” or “Administrator” an email or certified mail letter, and ask him or her to send you any forms necessary to transfer your 401k. You may need to do this within a set period of time (often 30 days) of your leaving, so don’t procrastinate. As to health insurance, find out from HR when is your last day of coverage. If your next employer does not offer insurance, or if there is a waiting period (often up to 3 months) before you can join your new employer’s health insurance program, then write an email to HR of your present employer and ask for the C.O.B.R.A. forms, so that you can continue coverage in the “gap” between the two insurance coverages. DO NOT let there be a gap of even one day, please.
Hope that help. Please tell your friends and family about our site. Good luck in your new job!
Al Sklover
I enjoy my job, and what I do with those I work with. However, I’ve decided that I just don’t want to work for this company anymore. I’ve decided to look for a job in couseling. I have learned something from your website. Thank you.
Dear Mr. Sklovar,
Thank you for a very useful article. I hope you don’t mind if I ask your advice.
In two months I will be informing my employer of my resignation. I will be an equity partner in a new company with two other people. I’ve worked at my current organization, a non-profit, for four years. Prior to that I worked for a Fortune 200 company for 22 years where I enjoyed a wonderful career. My life took me to a different state.
Since joining this organization, I have experienced unbelievable criticism, insults and degradation from the executive director. Fortunately, I enjoy the work I do and I have great relationships with the staff, the chair of our board and all of our trustees, our donors, and volunteers. My boss announced his retirement a month ago effective, September 30.
In a meeting I had with him last Tuesday, he blew up, screaming, hollering, and insulting me. It was extremely unprofessional and I can assure you the situation was most undeserving of that behavior. I remained calm (mainly from disbelief) and left the office. I immediately typed up a record of the meeting.
The next day I met with our board chair to let him know what took place. This is the first time I ever went to him with any greivance. I wanted to be sure this was not going to impact my performance appraisal and raise that I might be entitled to beginning July 1. (Last year I received a stellar review and 10% raise.) He assured me that it won’t, but I am leary.
I’m not sure how to handle this now. I know I could file an harassment case, but all I want is due me. I also have three weeks vacation and ten sick days I haven’t taken this year. How can I be sure that I am not cheated?
Also, my boss doesn’t work on Fridays, which is the day I want to give my notice. Should I give it to him on Thursday and date the letter for Friday? Or should I give notice to our board chair on Friday?
I appreciate your assistance.
Two good questions deserve two good answers:
(1) First you asked how you can “be sure that I am not cheated?” Regarding vacation and sick time, the safest way is to take your time off now, before you resign in two months. Regarding your raise, vacation and sick time, the next safest way is to be upfront and candid, and confront the problem in a “confirming” email or Fedex letter: in the guise of a “Thank You” note to the Board Chair, confirm that (a) you spoke with him about your boss’s harassing/hostile actions, (b) and you expressed concerns about being retaliated against, and (c) that he gave you his assurances that you will not be retaliated against. Make it a note of appreciation. You could mention, too, your concern that you will not be cheated on vacation or sick time for any reason. [First, though, make sure your employer pays employees who leave for their accrued vacation and sick time.]
(2) Your second question is about timing and mode of delivering your resignation: There is no hard-and-fast rule on this. My suggestion is that you (a) give notice to the Board Chair on Friday, and (b) send a written resignation by email to your boss on the same day. You might mention to both the Board Chair and your boss that you have proceeded in this fashion in order to avoid the harassing/hostile events of the past, and the possibility of retaliation in the future.
Hope that helps. Please considering Subscribing (It’s Free!) to our Blog. Best of luck in yoru new endeavor.
Al Sklover
I’m the bookkeeper for a small company and I plan on resigning in the next few days to the owner of the company (who’s also my direct supervisor). The problem is that I’m leaving because he’s verbally abusive and I don’t want to have to live through another one of his tirades when I give my notice. I plan on giving the standard 2 weeks because my new job doesn’t start right away. If he’s abusive enough can I walk away from this job and still get paid for those 2 weeks? What if he has me shown the door? Am I still entitled to those 2 weeks pay? I’d love to just walk away for good but I’m to strapped to loose any pay.
I honestly believe there is a very good chance that, if you give the customary two weeks notice, you will (a) be verbally abused and/or (b) be immediately fired. If you were fired, you would surely lose your next two weeks pay.
I suggest the following: you work the two weeks, and on Friday of the second week, in late afternoon, you give your resignation to your boss, in person with a note, effective immediately. You follow it up asap with an email that says the same thing as the note: “I am sorry not to give you the usual 2 weeks notice. I wanted to, because it is the right thing to do, but you have been so abusive to me so many times that I feared you would be abusive to me again, or even fire me on the spot. Please understand that I did not want to leave without giving you at least 2 weeks notice. I hope you are not so abusive to the next bookkeeper, for the bookkeeper’s sake, and for your own, too.”
I hope this is helpful.
Best, Al Sklover
I have been working in banking for the last 7 years. Based on the economy since the recession, my perfomance has been low. I have spoken with my boss on several occassions to find out ways to help me out to improve my performance but she was reluctant to help. 21 days ago I was given a final warning stating if I do not resign I will be terminated. I do not want to be terminated based on the fact this is the only company I have ever worked for. If I am terminated, it is my understanding that I can collect unemployment. If I choose to resign, it is unclear as to if I will collect or not. I need unemployment so I do not lose my home. What should I do?
Dear Jillian,
Sorry to hear of your plight. Your concerns seem to be three: (a) you would rather keep your job, (b) you would like to preserve your right to unemployment insurances, and (c) you would like to preserve your good reputation. Let’s see what we can do with the options that are available to you.
(a) First, there is the option of appealing over your boss’s head, to her boss, or her boss’s boss, or even to the Board of Directors, for another chance. This is an alternative that far too many people seem to ignore. Seven years of service and loyalty are not insignificant. And if you have children or others dependent on you, if you mention that, your appeal is that much more likely to be successful. A respectful, honest “appeal” to higher authority is your first option.
(b) Second, you also seem to forget another option available to you: consider asking your employer this question: “If I resign, will you agree not to contest my application for unemployment benefits?” You see, in most states unemployment offices contact your former employer and ask this question: Are you aware of any reason this person should not receive unemployment benefits? If your employer responds “No,” or does not respond to that question at all, you will likely receive unemployment benefits.
(c) Third, in most states, if you resign your job with “good reason,” you are still entitled to unemployment benefits. As examples, if you resign due to harassment, discrimination, being urged to do improper things, or even falsely or unfairly being accused of poor performance, you may well collect.
You’re definitely “between a rock and a hard place.” These options just might help you “wiggle” between them. Hope these options are helpful to you.
Best,
Al Sklover
Dear Alan Sklover,
Very informative article. Thank you. I am being forced to resign from my present job due to financial reasons…I’m so glad that I read your article first. My job changed 4 yrs ago from a 15 mile drive to 42 mile drive…I have an old car…So far this month my repairs are almost $2,000.00…My manager suspended me (1) day (without pay) because I was out of work while my car was being repaired (3) days and again the next week for additional work (2) days, I used my vacation time…She said that I was suspended because I had Too Many Unscheduled Days Off. With the cost of gas, I can no longer afford to keep my job after being with the them for a total of 24 yrs…!!Can I apply for unemployment benefits…???…Thank you for your time in this matter.
In most states, you have a right to collect unemployment compensation if you resigned for a “good reason.” Your reasons seem to be “good reasons” to me. You seem to want to work, but can’t due to causes beyond your control. I believe you will likely be successful if you apply . . . just make sure you express what happened as well as you did in your comment. Hope you’ll come back to the blog again, and tell your friends about it.
Best, Al Sklover
Alan:
Very informative. I’m in the process of making a switch to another position, and in a dilemma about when to turn in notice. I work from home on Fridays, and need to give 10 days notice. I’d like to do so Friday afternoon, but cannot do that in person. I guess Monday morning can be considered part of the 10 days? And of course, I have a new employee starting on my team Monday morning… I really appreciate your comments about what ‘not’ to say. They’ll find out soon enough; does my future employer have to tell my old employer who it is that’s verifying previous employments? I suppose I’ll have to work the next 2 weeks on site, provided they don’t let me go immediately.
Thanks much, Dave
My view is that it’s always wise to say as little as possible when resigning. Being pleasant in all respects is important, but that doesn’t extend to where you are going, what you are going to be doing there, or why it is you have decided to leave. Regarding when to give notice, I’d do it on Monday morning, even though a new employee is starting. He or she will survive, though it is a funny thing to happen on the first day of a new job. Does your new employer have to tell your present employer who they are? That depends on the policies of your present employer; my guess is that they do, indeed, say, “Who is inquiring?” Whether you’ll have to work the next two weeks is an open question; as you know, more and more it’s “good bye today.” Hope that’s helpful.
Great article and good points to consider.
One question: I’ve just resigned from my position and out of respect for my current employer, I gave 5 weeks notice to assist with transitioning, cross training and process documentation. Of course I expect a bit of a backlash from my current supervisor. I’m on day 2 since I gave notice and have observed some nasty behaviour, critiques of everything I’ve submitted, questioning of any conversations with colleagues, etc..
If the behaviour becomes unbearable, do I still have to honour the notice given or can I cut it short? While I thought I was being professional and considerate, I’m noticing unprofessional behaviour from her. I’m trying to ease the pain but don’t feel it is acceptable to put up with abuse.
First, your giving 5 weeks notice of resignation was responsible, mature and professional. You are to be commended; it’s not often that either employers or employees are so considerate.
Second, that notice you have given is not a license for a supervisor to be nasty, negative or abusive. You remain an “at will” employee, that is, you are free to go whenever you want, and your employer is free to ask you to go whenver it wants. Thus, if you are treated unbearable, you can simply leave.
Why don’t you consider this: a respectful email or memo to your supervisor, and perhaps his/her supervisor, too, telling them what you told me: you are trying to be a first-rate employee, to the very end of the relation, but since you’ve resigned, you believe you’ve been treated inappropriately, to say the least. You might want to be frank about the abusive, hostile, nasty behavior since you’ve given notice, and that it is making it hard to stay. You might want to be a bit less direct: mention “harsh treatment by one person,” that is, not a “full-frontal assault.”
Either approach woud be, I believe, a continuation of the professional, courteous behavior you’ve shown to date. It is the confrontation of a problem, not a person, and it is for your employer’s interests, too.
If you do find it unbearable, and leave, I hope you will send them a similar email explaining what you experienced, so that your reputation for professionalism does not suffer.
Hope that’s helpful. Hope you’ll consider subscribing to get our email newsletter and other points to ponder on a regular basis, without charge.
Al Sklover
I found your article to be an eye opener. Here is my problem. I accepted a new job based on a posted job description, when I started the job I was then presented with an entirely different set of expections, which I find unacceptable and unattainable. Needless to say I am resigning immediatey. Is this going to hurt me professionally?
Thanks for writing a great article. I learned a lot, but I still need help.
I have been working for this company for 13 + years. Two years ago my company went through a sale and then there was a large lay-off. I was one of the employees the new company kept. Some might say that I was lucky, but I don’t feel that way. Since the new company has taken over I have had more work than I ever had before. Prior to the new company I was a supervisor with a staff of 26 employees. Now I am expected to do the same work with only 6 employees and the new company has higher expectations. I keep being told that I have to learn how to effectively use my resources. They also keep telling me that since we are now a smaller company everyone will have pitch in and learn to wear different hats. Which when directly translated means that everyone will have added duties and responsibilities. Thus, I was told I don’t have 6 employees I really have 7…. They count me as the 7th employee. So, I’m expected to carry out my duties as a supervisor plus the duties of those I supervise. Not to mention that they continuously add new projects and deadlines.
I have taken sick days and vacation days just to mentally collect myself. And the current job market is terrible right now. I have been searching continually for another job. Unfortunately, my search has been unsuccessful. So, my husband and I discussed this and we decided that for my personal health and well being it would be best that I resign. I will be turning in my resignation in a couple of weeks without another job to go to.
I noticed that you commented several times that if you have a good reason for resigning you can collect lost wages. The reason I am resigning is because of the stress. Do you think I would be able to qualify for unemployment? If so, what should I do before, during and after I resign? Please help me or point me in the right direction so I can relieve this stress and spend my time finding another job.
I believe (a) it may hurt you professionally, and (b) then again, it may not – it all depends on how you handle the situation.
It is a fact that a short-duration job creates the impression on a resume that “there was a problem.” That is unavoidable. However, you may deal with it in three different ways that should avoid that impression:
(1) if the duration was very short, perhaps a one, two or three weeks, you might not mention it on your resume.
(2) if you mention it on your resume, you might indicate that it was a “short-term assignment.”
(3) My recommended way to deal with it is to be honest and straight-forward: “Job Description Changed Substantially after Job Acceptance.”
The “Perception of Your Value” as an employee is how prospective employers will judge you. Showing that you can handle such a sensitive issue with honesty, without evidencing anger or disparaging your former employer, and your determination to work in a position you are suited for, are all positive manifestations of what employers look for.
My best wishes to you for a speedy and successful job search.
Al Sklover
The general rule is that unemployment insurance is given to people who are unemployed due to no fault of their own. It is not available to people who voluntarily resign without good reason(s).
A. Good Reason(s): Three things you wrote make me wonder if you have good reason(s) to resign:
(1) “Sacrificing Your Integrity” – If this means that you are being expected to do things that are illegal, or improper, or unprofessional, or potentially damaging to your reputation, these may constitute “good reasons” for resignation. It depends on the facts, and it depends on the unemployment examiner/clerk your application is given to. Surely, you can’t be expected to engage in fraud, or deception, as examples.
(2) “I’m emotionally stressed out” – and
(3) “I’m physically stressed out” – If your job requirements are such that you are being pressured to work in a way that is likely to get you ill, emotionally or physically, that, too, may qualify as “good reasons.” Again it depends on the facts, and on the examinar/clerk you file goes to.
Again, no one can be expected to remain in an environment that is so hostile or demeaning so as to make them sick.
B. Possible “No Contest” – Many employers will agree “not to contest” any application for unemployment insurance you may make, if you ask. It is something of an acknowledgement of your having “good reason” to leave, and at the same time an indirect form of severance. Consider it.
C. Possible Severance: Why can’t you negotiate severance? Severance is not given out as a reward or treat, but to people who may have claims of some sort. The way it goes is essentially this: You raise any valid claim you may have, and you are given severance in exchange for release of claims. Might you have any claims? Consider reviewing the Library Section of our Blog on severance . . . it just might be a way to go.
I hope this helpful. My best to you.
Al Sklover
Thanks! Good Info. I work for a small company, I have been supervised by the CEO for 5 plus years. I find it hard to imagine not sharing where I am going next, since we are so close.
Any advice to make it not so cold.
Thanks!
There’s no rule without exceptions. If you are confident that the CEO who supervises you will not in any way try to hurt you, or make it hard for you to make your move, then by all means tell him or her where you are going.
If there is the slightest concern, I suggest you say, “I’m sorry, but my next employer has made me promise not to tell anyone – for his own reasons, some of which he said he could not share with me. I have given my word that I cannot. As soon as I am freed from that restriction, I will let you know.”
Hope that’s helpful.
Best, Al Sklover
Quick comment on the above: I gave my two-week notice just this past Friday, and my employer is small and has quite the history of playing “games” with people if you will. To this note, I am waiting a tuition reimbursement check that was cut to be signed and given to me. Does my employer have to sign it and give it to me, or can they hold it, or can they legally now not provide me with this check? It was already approved and cut, and is awaiting signature.
Thanks so much!
Generallly, the rule is this: If your “benefit” has been earned, it must be paid.
So, (a) if, for example, according to the company’s policies, all you have to do to earn tuition reimbursement is to take a course and fill out a form, and you’ve done both, you have a legal right to the payment.
(b) if, on the other hand, company policies say that you must be employed for 60 days after the course is completed, and you completed the course 30 days ago, you will not have a legal right to the reimbursement payment.
Third possibility: it’s not clear what “company policy” is: you do your best to state your case, and hope for the best. My advice: send a pleasant but clear letter to your employer requesting there be no delay.
Next time: don’t resign until “the check has clearned.” Hope that helps.
Best, Al Sklover
I have worked for a company for 1 year. The position that I signed up for was never what was promised. There has been over a 50% turnover rate in the year that I have been there. I have been given work to do with undoable deadlines and expectations. I am now getting my resignation letter together, and I am ready to walk with even the slightest of provocation. I am 62 years old and I want to enjoy my life. Why is everything so difficult in the workplace. Harrasment and abuse seems to be rampant and employers get away with it because there are not many jobs out there.
I’m so thankful for stumbling upon this while searching for a way to resign!!! I didn’t even think about some of the things mentioned above! I will be giving my resignation on Friday due to a very unruly boss & co-workers that will do what they can to stay on his “good” side (if there is one!). I can’t take it as it is affecting my health & life at home. I don’t know that I’d stand a chance in hell for any type of severance, but am very thankful for the confidence to resign in person and know there may be something I can do. Clearing off your desk a little at a time is something everyone should think of…I cleaned off my PC a couple of weeks ago. The only thing left are my photos on my wall and those will have to wait. Good luck to anyone and everyone out there in my same situation!!
You are totaly wrong about a boss not being interested in getting you promoted. A real LEADER focuses on personal and professional development of their work force and guides and assists them in becoming better people and better workers. LEADERS identify who is next in line and helps that person get promoted, as long as they do the work to help themselves.