“I find in most circumstances people leave bosses,
not companies.”
– John Rampton
ACTUAL CASE HISTORIES: Over the past two years, Nike has terminated five senior executives for being bully bosses – four men and one woman. One of those terminated had been identified as the probable next CEO. A rising tide of bullying at Nike resulted, too, in the CEO calling a “town hall” meeting of all 35,000 Nike employees, at which the CEO apologized for letting it get so out of control, and promised not to let it happen again.
From recent press accounts and a rising number of lawsuits, the incidence of bully bossing seems to be on the rise. It may be that so many managers feel under so much pressure to do so much with so little. It may be a reflection of a seemingly rising incivility throughout society. No matter the cause, workplace bullying seems to have become more common, and is a widely discussed phenomenon.
While employees bear the brunt of workplace bullying, employers are coming to recognize that they are victims of bully bossing, too, as it results in depressed morale, increased law suits, significant distraction, loss of valuable human talent and diminished retention of key employees. Oh, it also poses real risk to very significant reputational damage to brand, which is perhaps the “Achilles heel” of every organization, especially those with great investment into brand development and management.
And, too, it seems “something big” may also be changing: “I’ve been bully boss’ed” is, to many, the new “me-too movement.”
If you think how you are being treated by your own manager may constitute bully bossing, this list of the “57 Signs” may help you in two ways: First, it represents something of a “checklist of abuses” against which you can measure your own treatment so you can draw your own conclusions. Second, if you do conclude that you are, indeed, dealing with a workplace bully boss, this list may assist you in addressing the problem by identifying to Management, HR and even the bully boss, himself or herself, with specificity, the elements of the problem.
LESSON TO LEARN: Two questions often arise in workplace bullying situations:
The first question is: “Do I have just a very tough boss, or has he/she crossed the line to represent a true ‘bully boss?’”
The second question is: “If I am being bully-bossed, how can I address that subject, with the most effective manner and yet, if possible, avoid retaliation?”
Well, as I often tell my clients, “Specificity yields credibility.” By being able to identify what is going on, you can help yourself answer both of those questions. Specificity is necessary to identify a problem – like a blood test or x-ray does for a physician. And, too, specificity may indicate to the physician where to apply the medicine or other treatment, how long it should be applied, and what are the indications of improvement? Well, the same holds true for any problem, including bullying at work: the more specific, the more effective will likely be the diagnosis and treatment.
The list below helps you understand whether you are, indeed, being bullied. It can also help you spot the many ways in which workplace bullying often shows itself. While it is not entirely exhaustive, it does contain most of what we all mean by workplace bullying. And, too, it can assist in your standing up to it.
One thing to keep in mind: bully bossing does not need to be intentional. In fact, many bully bosses are not even vaguely aware of what they do. As they have done it so many times before, without being called out on it, they think it is “normal” managing, which it is not.
This is why it is being said, more and more, “Bully Bossed is the new MeToo Movement.”
WHAT YOU CAN DO: To help make a conclusion about whether you are being bully bossed, and to also help you report it to others, here is a list of 57 signs of bully bossing. Of course, associated issues should be considered, including (a) how often the activity takes place, (b) its intensity, (c) its effects on you, (d) how long it has been taking place, and (e) whether it has continued after you have taken reasonable steps to stop it.
- A. Humiliations
| 1. | Diminishing or discounting your views and opinions | |
| 2. | Ignoring you or interrupting you in meetings | |
| 3. | Hurtful comments about your appearance, privately or publicly | |
| 4. | Assigning you menial duties or his/her personal errands | |
| 5. | Outbursts of anger, yelling or screaming | |
| 6. | Clear disrespect of your religion or culture | |
| 7. | Making you the butt of jokes regarding your age, religion, gender, appearance, etc. | |
| 8. | Referring to you by a childish version of your name (“Joshie” for Josh) | |
| 9. | Continually questioning your adequacy, commitment, skills | |
| 10. | Criticizing you personally, unrelated to your performance | |
| 11. | Insisting you be available to him/her seven days, 24 hours | |
| 12. | Spying, snooping, invasion of your privacy |
To STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, we offer Model COMPLAINT OF BULLY BOSS TO CEO AND HR, you can adapt and use. Shows you “What to Say, and How to Say It.” To get your copy, just [click here.] Delivered to your printer in minutes.
- B. Work Sabotage
| 13. | Assigning you more assignments and projects than you have time for | |
| 14. | Assigning you deadlines that no one could meet | |
| 15. | Withholding resources necessary to do your work | |
| 16. | Denying needed information or access to it | |
| 17. | Denying or delaying necessary permissions or consents | |
| 18. | Intentionally ambiguous instructions | |
| 19. | Scheduling meetings without advance notice, agenda and/or reason | |
| 20. | Denying you training/instruction opportunities approved for others | |
| 21. | Interfering with mail, email and other necessary communications |
If you are Suffering from a Bully Boss, we offer Model ANONYMOUS BULLY BOSS COMPLAINT to Your Employer, for your adaptation. Shows you “What to Say, and How to Say It.” To get your copy, just [click here.] Delivered to your printer in minutes.
- C. Management Dishonesty
| 22. | False under-evaluations of your performance | |
| 23. | False or petty claims of misconduct | |
| 24. | Unreasonable, undue, undeserved or non-constructive criticisms | |
| 25. | Scapegoating for something you did not do or had no part in | |
| 26. | Refusing reasonable requests for leave in the absence of business related reasons | |
| 27. | Repeated false accusations of violations of policies, rules or regulations | |
| 28. | Continually changing his/her expectations | |
| 29. | Micromanaging to a fault |
Need IMMEDIATE RELIEF? TAKE FMLA TIME OFF. Consider using our Model Memo REQUESTING FMLA INFORMATION, FORMS and PROCEDURES from Human Resources. It shows you “What to Say and How to Say It”™ and makes a permanent record of your request. Just [click here.] Delivered Instantly By Email to Your Printer.
- D. Isolation
| 30. | Not inviting you to meetings you should be attending | |
| 31. | Taking you off email distribution lists | |
| 32. | Failure to invite to business or business/social functions | |
| 33. | Spreading false or critical rumors and gossip about you | |
| 34. | Assigning you a workplace that is far from others or difficult to get to | |
| 35. | Scheduling meetings that conflict with your schedule or availability |
- E. Use of Others to Harm You
| 36. | Reassigning your duties to others without your consent | |
| 37. | Not naming you to committees related to your function | |
| 38. | Telling your subordinates what to do or not to follow your direction | |
| 39. | Assigning you of offensive nicknames | |
| 40. | Slandering or defaming you or those you care about | |
| 41. | Justifying, defending or refusing to halt others’ abuse of you |
Considering resigning? BEFORE RESIGNING, consider our “Involuntary Resignation,” which preserves your rights to severance, unemployment and other advantages. We offer a “Model ‘INVOLUNTARY RESIGNATION’ Memo” for your adaptation and use. To get your copy – Delivered Instantly by Email – just [click here.] “What to Say and How to Say It”™
- F. Violence, Health and Safety Matters
| 42. | Pointing a finger in your face | |
| 43. | Belly-bumping or getting into your face | |
| 44. | Threatening gestures, fist in the air | |
| 45. | Towering over you, invading your space | |
| 46. | Intimidating looks | |
| 47. | Discouragement or denial of time to access medical appointments | |
| 48. | Unwanted physical contact, abuse or threats of abuse | |
| 49. | Assigning you to tasks that are dangerous or health-threatening |
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- G. Denial of Earned Payments or Credit for Achievements
| 50. | Denying earned raises or bonuses | |
| 51. | Refusing to consent the use of earned vacation time or PTO | |
| 52. | Denying timely or earned promotions | |
| 53. | Denying awards, citations, etc., that are due to you | |
| 54. | Least attractive assignments | |
| 55. | Reassignment of your best clients and customers | |
| 56. | Refusing to approve reimbursements for business-related expenses | |
| 57. | Continual Intentional miscalculation of your commissions, earnings, etc. |
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In Summary . . .
Every employee needs to do his or her best to fulfill his or her job duties. And, in turn, managers are tasked with encouraging, motivating and thus ensuring that they do so. Managers are not tasked with abusing, harassing, humiliating or otherwise sabotaging employees’ efforts. Sadly, many do so, intentionally or not. While the workplace is not usually a “fun place,” it is also not supposed to be a place to dread, or become ill because of how you are treated. Employers are becoming very much aware of how much they lose by bully-bossing. We hope this checklist of bullying tactics helps you both (i) conclude whether or not you are being treated in this way, and, too, (ii) helps you identify those tactics if and when you report your being bully bossed to others.
P.S.: If you would like to speak directly about this or other subjects, Mr. Sklover is available for 30-minute, 60-minute, or 120-minute telephone consultations, just [click here.] Evenings and weekends can often be accommodated.
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SkloverWorkingWisdom™ emphasizes smart negotiating – and navigating – for yourself at work. Negotiation and navigation of work and career issues requires that you think “outside the box,” and build value and avoid risks at every point in your career. We strive to help you understand what is commonly before you – traps and pitfalls, included – and to avoid the likely bumps in the road. For those who believe they are being bullied, this is how you can tell, and what you can report, as part of your wise “navigation and negotiation.”
Always be proactive. Always be creative. Always be persistent. Always be vigilant. And always do what you can to achieve for yourself, your family, and your career. Take all available steps to increase and secure employment “rewards” and eliminate or reduce employment “risks.” That’s what SkloverWorkingWisdom™ is all about.
*A note about our Actual Case Histories: In order to preserve client confidences, and protect client identities, we alter certain facts, including the name, age, gender, position, date, geographical location, and industry of our clients. The essential facts, the point illustrated and the lesson to be learned, remain actual.
Please Note: This Email Newsletter is not legal advice, but only an effort to provide generalized information about important topics related to employment and the law. Legal advice can only be rendered after formal retention of counsel, and must take into account the facts and circumstances of a particular case. Those in need of legal advice, counsel or representation should retain competent legal counsel licensed to practice law in their locale.
Sklover Working Wisdom™ is a trademarked newsletter publication of Alan L. Sklover, of Sklover & Company, LLC, a law firm dedicated to the counsel and representation of employees in matters of their employment, compensation and severance. Nothing expressed in this material constitutes legal advice. Please note that Mr. Sklover is admitted to practice in the state of New York, only. When assisting clients in other jurisdictions, he retains the assistance of local counsel and/or obtains permission of local Courts to appear. Copying, use and/or reproduction of this material in any form or media without prior written permission is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved. For further information, contact Sklover & Company, LLC, 45 Rockefeller Plaza, Suite 2000, New York, New York 10111 (212) 757-5000.
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