Part 3 of 3:
“Managed Out?” – What to Do, in Five Stages
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
– Alice Walker
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Among the many difficult and delicate situations an employee may face at work, perhaps the most perplexing is being “Managed Out” of a job. Most people don’t see it coming. Others see it coming, but can’t figure out how to respond. Yet others simply – and unwisely – quit in disgust.
Part 1 of this article is entitled “Being Managed Out – The 7 Basics.” It introduces you to Being “Managed Out.” To read it, [Click Here]
Part 2 is “Are You Being Managed Out? – The 10 Telltale Tactics.” It assists you in deciding whether you are, indeed, being “Managed Out.” by identifying the 10 most common tactics that managers use to “manage out” employees. To read it, [Click Here]
This is Part 3, “What to Do, in Five Stages.” It presents the 5-Stage method we have used successfully with our clients over the past 40+ years who were being “Managed Out.”
Contents:
A. Before We Start: A Few Points to Bear in Mind
B. Stage 1 – First, Choose Your Best Goal(s)
C. Stage 2 – Second, Assemble a “Tactics-Used Journal”
D. Stage 3 – Third, Attempt to Resolve with Your Manager
E. Stage 4 – Fourth, If Resolution isn’t Soon Achieved, “Elevate”
F. Stage 5 – Fifth, Staying or Leaving, Negotiate and Make a Written Record
G. Keep a Positive Perspective – “Every Storm Passes, then Life Begins Anew”
H. Self-Help Materials Available Soon
Before We Start: A FEW POINTS TO BEAR IN MIND
1. Above All, Do Not Quit. No matter how difficult, dispiriting, demeaning or bewildering it may get for you at work, Do Not Quit. “No how, no means, no way.” Not by a letter, not by an email, not by conversation, and not by simply failing to show up without good reason (a kind of misconduct called “job abandonment.”)
Quitting by any means would almost surely and unnecessarily deny you a variety of valuable interests and benefits, including (a) severance, (b) unemployment benefits, (c) equity vesting, (d) partial or prorated annual bonus, (e) healthcare continuation, (f) waiver of future non-compete restrictions, and (g) time to find a new job internally or externally. It’s never a good thing to do.
2. Be Prepared for an Experience that May Challenge Your Confidence and Resolve. Recognize and accept that “standing up” to being “Managed Out” is not a simple or easy task. It requires tenacity. It is a kind of “negotiation in real time.” It commonly arrives unexpectedly as an unsettling, disruptive mixture of unfairness, dishonesty, rejection and distrust. It’s no “walk in the park.” But . . . your standing up will almost surely be to your benefit. Note, too, that we sincerely suggest that all clients going through this process increase their usual stress-reduction activities whether they are exercise, prayer, meditation, yoga, even gardening.
[If you have already quit your job, all is not lost. See Item 24, below. ]3. At Any Time, If Needed, Consider Requesting a Leave of Absence or Disability Accommodation. If you truly feel you “can’t take the stress or toxicity any longer, and either you or a family member have a medical or emotional difficulty, consider requesting a legally protected Leave of Absence, whether under federal, state or local laws. If you do, use email to request HR send you the necessary paperwork. You might also consider requesting an accommodation to a medically confirmed disability. (You can read more about Leaves of Absence in Section 15 of the SkloverWorkingWisdom.com blogsite, and Disability Leaves and Accommodations on Section 16.)
4. Consider, Too, Consulting or Retaining an Attorney to Assist You. An attorney experienced in these matters can be for you a “steady hand on the wheel.” Not to threaten or start a lawsuit, and not to provide any “legal opinions,” but to guide you in (i) identifying, (ii) creating, (iii) assessing, and (iv) applying leverage in the navigation and negotiation processes. In standing up to Being “Managed Out” we seek to identify and use leverage; legal options are only one kind of possible leverage. If any documents need to be reviewed, or negotiated, attorneys should be brought on board.
5. First, Determine if Resolution with your Manager is Possible; if not, then “Elevate.” As you will see, our five-stage method for standing up to Being “Managed Out” entails (a) repair of the working relation with your Manager; (b) if not, any negotiation should be directed not to HR, Legal or Employee Relations, but to higher management.
6. Note that, in the important subject of leverage, this Article does not and cannot take into account your unique facts, events and circumstances; only you or a skilled lawyer can do that. A physician might know, for example, more than any other physician about headaches. Or a lawyer might know, for example, more about immigration law than any other lawyer. However, if that physician, or that lawyer, do not take the time to ask patients or clients a lot of questions about themselves, and what they have experienced, and listen intently to their answers, that physician or that lawyer are nearly worthless. That is to say, both law and medicine are not very valuable without careful gathering and assembly of all the relevant facts.
Stage 1: FIRST, CHOOSE YOUR BEST GOAL(S)
Without question, most of our clients want to remain in their jobs, at least until they can leave by choice, and on their timing and terms. While that’s wise, it’s not always possible. This Stage 1 is your time to identify your own “Best Goal(s)” to seek under your circumstances.
7. Here are Ten Categories of “Best Goals” when Being “Managed Out”: Based on your own unique values, issues and needs, these are among your best choices. Choosing your Best Goal(s) early on is critical to achieving them; being without direction will only increase your vulnerability to others who may have less advantageous “Goals” in mind for you. These Best Goals are not mutually exclusive; there is no reason to limit yourself to just one.
We Call These “Staying Goals”
i. Relation Redefinition: Remain in your position within your same organization, and with your same Manager, but with additional clarity, incorporation of “guard rails” and/or safeguards into the relation, perhaps including assurance of no retaliatory steps later being taken against you.
ii. Role Redefinition: Remain in your organization, but with an altered role, function or expected contribution, but possibly with a different Manager.
iii. Temporary Personal or Family Leave of Absence: Time to regain strength, reconsider goals or even career direction, perhaps seek a new position outside the company.
iv. Internal Transfer: Transfer to another organization within the company.
v. Joint Commitment to Coaching, Counseling, Mentoring, specifically to include a time commitment to do so while you remain in your position, and to halt or exclude any continuation of “Performance Improvement Plan” (commonly called a “PIP.”)
We Call These “Leaving Goals”
vi. Departure from the Company with Reasonable Severance: Departure from the company, on favorable timing, terms and tone, set down in a written signed agreement.
vii. Departure upon Achievement of one or more “Milestones”: Remain in your position until you reach or achieve certain milestone(s). Examples include (i) equity vesting, (ii) bonus received, (iii) tenure target reached, (iv) 401k contribution due; (v) retirement eligibility achieved; (vi) perhaps Medicare eligibility; (vii) others unique to you and your employer.
viii. Preemptive Severance Request: If appropriate under the circumstance, you might consider requesting a departure, but (1) unequivocally conditioned on a severance arrangement in place, to be agreed in detailed by you, and (2) expressly excluding any non-compete or similar restriction. This requires extremely careful wording by an experienced attorney so that your Manager and HR do not respond with “You have resigned by those words.”
ix. Departure Following “Involuntary Resignation”: A variant of the above, used most often when the employee has a new job waiting, and wants to make it clear that she or he is not voluntarily giving up claims to interests earned or nearly achieved, such as those “Milestones” noted in Subsection (vii), above.
x. Variation(s) or Combination(s) of the above: These examples of possible “Best Goals” are not mutually exclusive. You can choose, in varying scenarios and preferences, two “Staying Goals” and one “Leaving Goal,” etc. What’s best for you is unique to you, and may even change over time, as your circumstances change, too.
Stage 2: SECOND, ASSEMBLE A “TACTICS–USED JOURNAL”
Stage 2 is your time to make a record of the tactics you believe are being used in your Being “Managed Out.” Doing so will better enable you to identify what the “False Narrative(s)” are that you need to address in Stages 3 and 4, below. Quite often, presentation to Higher Management of the Tactics used, especially when they include dishonesty, violation of company policy, regulation, or the law, we gain significant leverage for resolution or negotiation.
8. The Most Common “Telltale” Tactics. Part 2 of this 3-Part article, entitled “The Ten Telltale Tactics,” presents the ten most commonly used tactics to Manage Out employees, and explain how they lend themselves to:
- providing a negative impression to share with others – however dishonest – to demote, reassign or terminate the employee,
- manipulating the employee to quit his/her job, or otherwise engage in forms of misconduct, such as raising the voice or refusing to do certain tasks, that is, engage in misconduct to be fired, and/or
- denying the employee physical or emotional health and strength, and thus weaken their ability to successfully stand up for themselves through this process.
9. Create and Maintain Your “Tactics-Used Journal”: Reflect upon past, present and continuing steps taken to create a false and diminished perception of your value to your employer, colleagues, even clients. Your “Tactics-Used Journal” should include dates, events, witnesses, perhaps emails, and should be kept on your personal computer or telephone, never on company equipment.
The tactics used to devalue, demean or dismiss you might include such tactics as:
- Your not being invited to meetings,
- Your being left off critical email threads,
- Your being ignored or humiliated in private or public,
- Your performance review(s) containing incorrect facts, mischaracterizations and/or subjective assessments that no one can measure,
- Your being falsely accused of not having critical skills,
- Your Manager (or a colleague) repeatedly communicating directly with your reports, even giving them assignments that are appropriately to be assigned by you,
- Your Manager manipulating bonuses to those who fail to honor your authority,
- The spreading of untrue statements about you, your performance or conduct,
- Undercutting your efforts, casting doubts as to your skills, experience and/or attitude,
- Alleging inadequate achievement, inattention to details and deadlines,
- Perhaps even a dishonest and mischaracterizing Performance Improvement Plan (“PIP”).
Simply put, the tactics used in any endeavor are clear indications of the overall strategy(s) being used. Thus, tactics used almost always lead us to identification of the False Narratives, and enable us to “counter” them with what might be called “Truthful Counter-Narratives.”
Stage 3: THIRD, ATTEMPT TO RESOLVE WITH YOUR MANAGER
Stage 3 is your opportunity to send this message to your Manager: “Let’s work together; otherwise, it could be painful and damaging to us both.” It is hoped that it will be sufficient to change the “downhill dynamic” that seems to be underway. It is also intended to enhance your credibility – in that you did all you could to work with your Manager – if you need to proceed to elevating your concerns to Higher-Level Management.
10. Identify the False Narratives Being Used. A “narrative” is best defined as “the ongoing story line” being told, suggested, alleged or claimed, later to be used to justify your termination or demotion, or to deny you earned bonus, raises, other types of compensation, promotion or credit due. As examples, is your Manager creating and disseminating one or more false narratives that you are:
- not performing your job well?
- frequently either late in the morning or leaving early at the end of the day?
- failing to return calls or emails promptly?
- not attending meetings you should be attending?
- supervising your reports poorly?
- missing deadlines?
- engaging in some form(s) of misconduct?
- without the necessary skillset for your job?
- not earning colleagues’ respect?
- either unresponsive or insufficiently responsive?
- deserving of your Manager’s disrespectful, humiliating or other unprofessional mistreatment?
The above are just a few of the many possible false narratives by which a Manager may diminish others’ perceptions of your value, and thus justify your Being “Managed Out.”
11. Replace the False Narrative(s) with Positive, Truthful Narrative(s) regarding Your Performance and Behavior: To dispel a false narrative is to establish in the minds of others that the false narrative is (i) based on a set of untrue facts, (ii) intended to create an incorrect impression, and/or (iii) a dishonest mischaracterization, about you, your performance or conduct.
We do this by emails, so as to set a record of your Manager’s mistakes, miscommunications, and mischaracterizations, written in conversational tone that is respectful, helpful, and upbeat; never attacking, demanding or unprofessional. These emails are intended to show your value, your professionalism, and your positive postures, to others . . . including your Manager, and if “elevated,” to Higher Managers. (See Stage 4, below.)
Clarifying Emails to your Manager: Example: “I’ve been notified of several recent statements that have made that I was late in arriving in the mornings on at least half of the workdays last month. To establish clarity and certainty that I was not tardy on a single day last month, I attach copies of those time records. After your review, would you kindly share your views with me, so this issue may be put to rest? Your anticipated cooperation is appreciated.” (You might send a CC to HR.);
Corrective Emails to your Colleagues: Example: “I understand some on the team have experienced delays in receiving business expense reimbursements. As I am responsible for the process, please know I have on a timely basis both (a) reviewed all expense reports, and (b) submitted them all for approval. I understand your frustration, and for this reason have asked Accounting to look into the source of the delay. I will report to you as soon as I hear from Accounting.” (You might send a CC to the Head of Accounting.);
Helpful Emails to Clients (Internal or External): Example: “I have become aware that in recent weeks some order(s) have recently not been delivered on time. May I share that recent unexpected departures of fulfillment personnel are the reason for this, not failures in our delivery system or its administration. I am looking into waiving all delivery fees for late deliveries. Your patience is appreciated while I seek remedy for you.” (You might send a CC to your Manager.)
By (i) “gently” exposing the untruthful Tactics, (ii) dispelling the False Narrative(s), and (iii) memorializing any agreed resolution, you will reverse the ongoing downward dynamic, that is, your being “Managed Out” the company door.
12. Consider requesting a meeting with your Manager to clarify and confirm you both agree that, with recent “clarifications,” the working relation is now working well again and your record of achievement meets all expectations. We usually advise against one-on-one meetings with Managers about sensitive topics like being “Managed Out.” Here, so long as there is a previously transmitted meeting agenda, we generally make an exception to that “rule”.
You know your Manager; we don’t. If she or he might falsely claim you said or did something in a 1:1 meeting, you might avoid granting him or her that opportunity, and instead use written communications only, that is, email. If there is a decent chance she or he might come around, then request a meeting, along with an agenda entitled “Clarifying and Proceeding” and be frank about your meeting agenda: “correcting the record and moving forward on a mutually helpful basis.”
Is a “peaceful resolution” possible? Maybe . . . but recall that there existed a reason (or directive) for your Manager’s intention to bring about your Being “Managed Out.” Chances are, it probably still exists. Experience teaches that such a resolution to such a difficult situation will only come about if your Manager is convinced that proceeding with efforts to your being Managed Out is not in his or her interests.
If the meeting is positive and your Manager seems to accept a resolution you have proposed or can accept, it’s then necessary to confirm the understanding reached by sending an emailed “Thank You” note that both expresses thanks for the frank conversation and memorializes the important points that you’ve both agreed to in order to bring about a “new start.”
Stage 4: FOURTH, IF RESOLUTION ISN’T SOON ACHIEVED,
“ELEVATE”
Stage 4 is your opportunity to “bring truth to power” by what we call an “Elevation Memo.” As doing your best to reach resolution with your Manager has not succeeded, you now have little choice but to elevate the matter to someone who can make a decision that is more in your interests. Though a Higher Manager likely will not get personally involved, his or her delegation to “handle the matter” to HR, Legal or Employee Relations may be sufficient to get you your “Best Goals.”
13. Your Next Step – if needed – entails Elevating to a Higher-Level Decision-Maker. Your next effort should be an emailed request to your Manager’s Manager, or higher – to request his or her personal review of, and intervention in:
- The Tactics Used (from your Journal),
- the False Narratives about you that have been spread,
- the Absence of Integrity in the process,
- the seeming Violations of Company Policy, Industry Norms and Regulations,
- perhaps even the Law,
- possibly the Illegal, Discriminatory, Retaliatory or other improper intention underlying your being “Managed Out.”
14. Your “Elevation Memo” is the Heart and Soul of your efforts to Protect your financial, career and reputational interests. It needs to set forth in no more than two or three pages of email (a) what is taking place, (b) the wrongful tactics being used, with examples, and motivations underlying it, and – (c) perhaps most important – what “Best Goal(s)” you seek in writing to this person. You need to, as we say in these matters, “Get a fishhook into the mouth of a Whale.” To the extent possible, the interests upon which you should base your expressed requests are the company’s interests, including client or customer trust, avoidance of harm to morale, the negative effects of lowered morale, and harm to the company’s reputation.
With few exceptions, an “Elevation Memo” should not be sent to Human Resources, Legal, Employee Relations or an Ombudsperson. Each of these persons are surely not on your side in these matters, regardless of what they may say. In fact, their very assignment in a matter like this is to help your Manager “Manage Out” whoever she or he so desires.
15. Review Again Your Best Goals. Before you prepare your “Elevation Memo” we strongly suggest you review once again the list you prepared of your “Best Goals” during Stage 1. Your view of your Best Goals may have changed, and so it is especially wise to reconsider them now.
16. This is the best use of your “Tactics-Used” Journal: Your Elevation Memo efforts here are to emphasize (i) the wrongful Tactics used against you, (ii) violations of honesty, propriety, policy, regulations, perhaps even the law, (iii) why it is in the interests of all to avoid risks of unnecessary distraction, time, cost and reputational harm to all, (iv) avoid the need for further elevation among Management of Board, and/or that (v) your Best Goals would appropriately enable the Best Result for all concerned. (We refer to these as the Five Objectives of Sending your Elevation Memo.)
17. Don’t expect to hear from, or to be negotiating with, the Higher-Manager Recipient of your “Elevation Memo.” It is not commonly the case that a recipient of an “Elevation Memo” will directly respond to its sender. Nor is it common for him or her to ignore an Elevation Memo, as to do so could appear to others as negligent or unprofessional. All you really need her or him to do is forward your Elevation Memo to HR, Legal, Employee Relations, or a company ombudsman, whose job will then be to “bring resolution to the matter,” one way or the other. So motivated, they will likely seek a resolution you will accept . . . so that you will not further “elevate” your “Elevation Memo” to still Higher Management or Board Members.
Stage 5: Whether Staying or Leaving,
NEGOTIATE TO YOUR BEST GOAL(S) AND MAKE A WRITTEN RECORD
18. Whatever may be offered to you following (a) your Discussion with Your Manager, and/or (b) transmission of your Elevation Memo, whether staying or leaving the company, your Next Stage is to Negotiate the Terms. Whether you will be staying, or leaving, there are important elements to try to establish, including (a) its timing, (b) its terms, and (c) its “tone” (that is, how it is announced, and what is said.)
19. This is Where your List of “Best Goals” gives you the most value. It will be there to serve as your “North Star” in discussions and negotiations, which is commonly a very stressful time and circumstance. Knowing what you want makes it so much easier to express what it is you want, and, in turn, then to achieve what you want.
20. This is Surely a Time to Have Legal Assistance At Your Side, and On Your Side. When it comes to agreements of any kind, it is time for an Attorney’s assistance. Whether it is a reassignment, an internal transfer, time to find a new job externally, a severance arrangement or anything else, it is here, if anywhere, that you will likely need the assistance of an experienced employment attorney to either oversee your discussions or, alternatively, to engage in direct discussions with your employer on your behalf. Remember that it is often the case that what is in an agreement is not as consequential as what is missing from it.
21. What are some of the “Points” You Might Seek to Negotiate? Whether “staying” or “leaving,” here are just a few of the numerous requests you may make at this time:
Seven “Staying Points”
- Staying: “Guardrails” established to encourage future good working relations
- Staying: Reassignment/transfer to a different position working for a different Manager
- Staying: Appointment of a Coach
- Staying: Investment in Your Future by Approval of Career Development Courses
- Staying: Establishment of a Connection with an Internal Mentor
- Staying: Agreed Period of Time to Find a New Job internally
- Staying: Commitment to Hiring of Additional Reports for Your Supervision
Eight “Leaving Points”
- Leaving: Continuing salary, or a lump sum payment, also known as severance
- Leaving: No contest of your application for unemployment benefits
- Leaving: Vesting of all unvested equity
- Leaving: Annual bonus award, pro rata or in whole
- Leaving: Continuation of healthcare and other benefits
- Leaving: A “bridge to retirement” or other significant achievement
- Leaving: Waiver of Non-Compete and similar restrictions
- Leaving: Agreed Period of Time to Find a New Job Externally
22. Make a Simple Written Record: The most important step in any negotiation is, when the discussions are over, to make a simple record of the points agreed to, to confirm that your “simple record” is agreed to by your negotiation counterpart. Otherwise, all you’ve accomplished can be lost amid different memories, different understandings, and even different degrees of honesty.
23. The Most Common Question: “If I am dissatisfied with the results of negotiation, are there any alternative paths to pursue to achieve my Best Goals?” The answer is, almost always, there are three:
Elevate: Go Higher in the organization, to the CEO or even Board of Directors if need be.
Escalate: Bring in an attorney, to “do what attorneys do,” although to avoid any mention of the “L-Word,” that is, Litigation.
Litigate: Rarely, if ever, wise. We ascribe to the proverb “A thin settlement is almost always wiser than a fat lawsuit.” Litigation can be a career killer, something few attorneys will bother to share with you.
Lastly, and Not Least,
Keep a Positive Perspective – “EVERY STORM PASSES; THEN LIFE BEGINS ANEW.”
All of these Self-Help Materials will be Available for Purchase Soon:
Being Managed Out 1: Model “Tactics–Used Journal,” with 21 Likely Tactics
Being Managed Out 2: 3 Model Memos to Send to Each of Your Manager, Colleagues and Clients to Make a Record of the Tactics Used and to “Change the Narrative”
Being Managed Out 3: Model Memos to Your Manager to (a) Suggest Meeting to Seek Resolution and (b) Confirming Mutual Understanding that the Relation is Repaired
Being Managed Out 4: Model “Elevation Memo” to Higher Management to “Reverse the Dynamic” and Propose “Best Goals” (Whether Staying or Leaving)
Being Managed Out 5: 134-Point Master Checklist for Standing Up to Being “Managed Out”
P.S.: If you would like to speak directly with us about this or other subjects, we are available for 30-minute, 60-minute or 120-minute telephone consultations, just [click here.] Evenings and weekends can often be accommodated.
In Summary . . .
Employees being “Managed Out” is nothing new. What is “new” is how often it is being used to achieve Managers’ or Employers’ goals – which is now like a pandemic, and the damage to your many interests – career, reputation, finances, even physical and emotional health, it may cause. It is not to be taken lightly.
Many people believe that employment is now a “David versus Goliath” relation, and “the little person cannot win.” What they fail to remember is that David defeated Goliath. How did he do that? By not being afraid, by analysis of Goliath’s vulnerabilities, and with good aim. You can do the same.
Rather, you should always be a bit on the lookout for, and aware of, the tactics commonly employed in “managing out” employees. Like any “disease,” the sooner you “diagnose” it, and the sooner you can “treat” it, that is, make necessary adjustments, take necessary steps, and prepare yourself for what appears on your horizon.
This Article 3 of our 3-Part series on Being “Managed Out” presents the coherent, flexible, organized Five Stage Method used by our clients over the past four decades to survive, if not thrive, the bewildering, painful and seemingly “impossible” workplace experience called being “Managed Out.”
This Method is not guaranteed to work to meet all of your expectations. But we do and can honestly represent that, in 40+ years of experience with clients Being “Managed Out,” we’ve never seen or heard of anything better, less likely to cause career or reputational harm, and more likely to help you reach your “Best Goals.”
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Remember . . . We are Always Here, For You.
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Best, Al Sklover
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SkloverWorkingWisdom™ emphasizes smart negotiating – and navigating – for yourself at work. Negotiation and navigation of work and career issues requires that you think “out of the box,” and build value and avoid risks at every point in your career. We strive to help you understand what is commonly before you – traps and pitfalls, included – and to avoid the likely bumps in the road. Effectively standing up to Being “Managed Out” is one of the most important ways to do just that.
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