Maintaining Faith Archives

“18 Tips to Address Job-Loss Anxiety and Blues”

Published on November 29th, 2013 by Alan L Sklover

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which
you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”

 -       Eleanor Roosevelt     

ACTUAL “CASE HISTORIES”: There is no reason to  share any “case histories” with anyone who has ever been employed, is now employed, who wants to be employed or who experienced job loss. Losing your job hurts, and even the thought of losing your job gnaws at your inner self. Simply put, there’s barely a person among us in this job market who is truly job-secure. 

While we can do all we can to become employed and stay employed, potential or actual job loss is an ever-present and ever-painful fact of life. The feelings can be harmful, even debilitating. 

Each of us sometimes needs suggestions, reminders, pointers, tips and ideas of how to address difficult aspects of life. And, for this reason, we offer you these 18 Tips to Reduce Job-Loss Anxiety and Blues. 

LESSON TO LEARN: Keep these 18 Tips in mind, and consider how they might be of help to you now, and later. Share them with others. Just having available to you a number of steps to take, that are “there for the taking,” often helps keep the “wolf from the door.”    

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Starting this very moment, and not waiting until problems arise, do your very best to . . .

1. Keep things in perspective . . . There are others who, at this moment, are wrestling with civil wars around them, their child in pain in front of them, even their own imminent mortality facing them. Each of these others would do anything in the world to be in your shoes. Try to keep that in mind. Now and always.    

2. Make an “I Am Grateful For” list . . . Count your many and wondrous blessings. Have a home with heat? Enough to eat? Reasonably good health? Family? Clean water to drink? These are things that so many do not have. Imagine you lost them all tomorrow morning. Wouldn’t you be glad to then wake up, and find out your losing them all was just a bad dream? Appreciate all you have. Most have far less. And, too, be thankful for the blessings that are on their way to you.  

3. Increase regular physical activity, such as walking . . . I am not a physician, but I can tell you that increased regular physical activity somehow – seemingly magically – reduces pain, calms nerves, improves digestion, lowers swelling, aids sleep and produces a sense of well-being. And it doesn’t cost a penny. Start with a walk around the corner once a day. Begin with one push-up. Just get  your muscles moving and your blood flowing, and in response your body will express its “Thank  you” in more ways than you might imagine.   

4. Make a List of Your Resources, and not just financial . . . Knowing that you have things and people to “lean on” when you need, and people to help “pick you up” when you need, especially for those times you may get “wobbly” or worse, is reassuring. Your list of resources might include such various resources as your family, clergy persons, savings, your dog, friends, favors owed you, places you enjoy, and, most especially, your faith. Make the list, keep adding to it, and read it over, at least daily.      

Job hunting? Here’s a great idea: Use our “I’m Seeking a New Job” Letter to Friends and Family.” It shows you “What to Say, and How to Say It.™ To obtain your copy, [click here.] Delivered by Email – Instantly!

5. Begin reducing Obligations . . . Right now, do you really need all of your magazine, and satellite radio subscriptions? Might you do better by cutting down a bit on regular meals out, and instead share more home-cooked gourmet dishes? Do you really need ALL of those special cable channels? Lowering overhead, even a little, is a rather easy way to reduce your stress and address your anxiety. 

6. View your job-related worries as a Challenge, not an Obstacle . . . Sometimes we see the proverbial “glass half-empty” and sometimes we see the “glass half-full.” Similarly, we can bemoan the fact that the glass needs to be filled, or we can make filling it up to be a challenge, a game, a goal that, one way or the other, we are going to achieve. Yes, your job search can be something of a fun game, depending on how you view it, how you approach it, and how you “play” it. One thing is for sure: if you make something enjoyable, you’ll do it better and likely be more successful. Again, it’s all in how you see it, and how you see it is very much up to you.  

Job Hunting? Equip yourself with positive reference letters. Use our Model Letter to Former Managers and Colleagues Requesting Positive Reference Letters, with Three Sample Reference Letters. “What to Say, and How to Say It.”™. To obtain your copy, just [click here.] Delivered by Email – Instantly!

7. Avoid Social Isolation . . . As the Dean Martin song goes, “You’re nobody ‘til somebody loves you.” When it seems no employer “wants” you, it can be humiliating, embarrassing and make you want to isolate yourself.  Don’t give in to that urge. First, your real friends will pitch in, give you a hand, or a shoulder to lean on – if only they know your situation. Second, if people don’t know you are seeking employment, they can’t and won’t help you find it. Third, and perhaps most importantly, human interaction is good for the emotional and physical health. In times of stress, it can only help to keep yourself actively involved with others in family, social, charitable, civic and other contexts. 

8. Reject any urge you may feel to get revenge . . . I have one particular client who becomes very angry every time he senses he is having problems on the job. Several times, he has simply made it worse for himself as a result, on two occasions almost forcing his boss’s hand to fire him. His anger and negativity is something you can hear, see and feel. My job with him is often to see the anger coming, and turn it around. I try to get him to use his anger less like a blaring tea kettle which only makes noise, and more like a rocket ship that goes somewhere positive using the same energy. I don’t doubt that revenge may feel good. I do know it leads nowhere but downward.   

9. Remember that your Mind is attached to your Body . . . I know that you have surely not forgotten that you have a neck. What I mean is that how you treat your body will inevitably affect how your mind “treats” you. Just like your car, “Treat it well and chances are it will be dependable and take you where you want to go.” Also, your body image is an important part of your overall self-image. Treat yourself a bit better than usual by eating healthy, get some extra rest and relaxation, and avoid the spikes and valleys associated with high-sugar foods. The positive physical and emotional results of treating the body well are beyond doubt.   

10. Accept that Serious Depression or Suicidal Thoughts MUST IMMEDIATELY be brought to a professional . . . One thing must be accepted and not merely considered: if you experience serious, immobilizing depression, or any thoughts of suicide, you must immediately consult with a mental health professional. There’s just no debate about it: serious illnesses – which these most certainly are – require the prompt help of those who are duly trained to provide it. Even if you are not motivated to do so, your loved ones deserve that you do so. There is no shame in needing help; there’s only shame in not seeking it.      

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11. Visualize a positive future . . . Visualization is a very powerful and universally available tool to get you through difficult times. It is very much applicable to job loss anxiety and sadness. Simply take a moment or two each day – three or four times a day if you can –  to imagine yourself finding a job you enjoy and being excited to get to work each day. Imagine the helpful hands of colleagues who are supportive of your efforts. Imagine being recognized, praised and rewarded fairly for your efforts. Imagine the feelings of security, satisfaction and serenity your new job gives you. Those “visions,” and your enjoyment of the feelings those “visions” give you can – if you let them – serve to carry you forward to finding and securing just such a job. “If you believe you can, you can,” and “If you believe you will, you will,” are both quite, quite true, and are at the heart of visualization.    

12. Beware of Abuse or Overuse of Prescriptions or Intoxicants . . . While a little bit of “this” and a little bit of “that” is sometimes said to take the “edge” off stress, anxiety and sadness, bear in mind that using “a little bit” can so easily proceed to “a little more” and then “too much,” and before you know it to the development of real dependence. Wise physicians are loath to prescribe pharmaceutical crutches because they know how habit-forming they can unknowingly become. Non-prescription intoxicants, legal or illegal, can do just as much harm, if not more so. There’s enough difficulty in losing a job, or in locating and keeping a good job, you don’t need to make it any more difficult for yourself in this way.   

13. Locate a Regular “Personal Sounding Board” . . . Whether he or she is a friend, a colleague, a member of the clergy or a therapist, it may pay great “dividends” to have one person to talk to and listen to who knows you, knows your hopes, fears, aspirations and concerns. It may be formal or informal, fee-based or friendship-based, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that it “works” for you, and for the other person, as well for, as they say, “We were given two hands, one to give and one to take.”  

Hard to explain your last departure? Use our 50 Good Reasons to Explain Your Last Job Departure. Original, creative and so very useful! “What to Say, and How to Say It.™ To obtain your copy, [click here.] Delivered by Email – Instantly!

14. If prior addiction difficulties exist, get right to a Group or Counselor . . . Some among us have through experience learned that they are more vulnerable than many others to dependence on outside “influences” to cope with the difficulties of life. For those among us who have had difficulties with addiction of one kind or another, the stresses and strains of possible or actual job loss can trigger self-defeating behaviors. If you understand that you are one such person, it may be wise to initiate communications with others who can support you in maintaining positive behaviors while you are experiencing the difficulties of job loss anxiety and sadness. This is one place where “An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure.”    

15. Consider Prayer, Meditation, Yoga . . . I am surely no expert in any of these three activities, but I do practice them regularly. While my reasons for doing so are not related to job loss or job insecurity, I know that they are used by many people for those purposes, and to good effect. Though “getting into” them may seem insurmountable to the unaffiliated and uninitiated, finding local centers for all three is in most communities not a difficult task. While no one likes the feeling of being a “beginner” at anything, it takes comparatively little effort to begin these.  

16. Devote Time to the Less Fortunate . . . This step to reducing job-loss anxiety and sadness is so, so underappreciated and underutilized. Getting your “self” out of “your self” and devoted, even for an hour, to the needs of others – whether it is the infirm or the institutionalized – helping others less fortunate than yourself is an almost magically uplifting experience. Providing fellowship to those who are alone, attention to those who are ignored, and kindness to those who have not had enough of it, is truly the best self-care. As Mother Teresa said, “The worst disease is to be nobody to anybody.”   

After the interview, you can still impress your interviewers. Use our Model Letter After Interview to Thank You; with Later Follow Up. It shows you “What to Say, and How to Say It.™” To obtain a copy, just [click here.] Delivered by Email – Instantly!

17. Smile. Yes, simply smile . . . I know it may sound silly, but I have read that smiling – even a forced smile – helps the body release chemicals that make you feel better. And, as one yoga teacher always reminds his classes, “It instantly increases your face value.” Works for me; might work for you.  

18. Take it one step each day, and one day at a time . . . “Yard by yard, its very hard. Inch by inch, it’s a cinch.”  While nothing works for everyone, chances are quite high that one or more of these 18 Tips will help you address job-loss anxiety and blues in your life. And bear in mind that, when success seems like a far distant dream, just trying something is, in itself, an instant success of sorts.  While the first step may seem the hardest,  it is almost always the most rewarding.    

P.S.: For those who might be helped by personal attention and counsel, Al Sklover is available for confidential telephone consultations of 30-minutes, 60-minutes, or two-hours. For more info [click here.] 

SkloverWorkingWisdom™ emphasizes smart negotiating – and navigating – for yourself at work. Negotiation and navigation of work and career issues requires that you think “out of the box,” and build value and avoid risks at every point in your career. We strive to help you understand what is commonly before you – traps and pitfalls, included – and to avoid the bumps in the road. Addressing job loss anxiety and sadness, to keep your “boat afloat” is just one good example of that.         

Always be proactive. Always be creative. Always be persistent. Always be vigilant. And always do what you can to achieve for yourself, your family, and your career. Take all available steps to increase and secure employment “rewards” and eliminate or reduce employment “risks.” That’s what SkloverWorkingWisdom™ is all about. 

*A note about our Actual Case Histories: In order to preserve client confidences, and protect client identities, we alter certain facts, including the name, age, gender, position, date, geographical location, and industry of our clients. The essential facts, the point illustrated and the lesson to be learned, remain actual.     

Please Note: This Email Newsletter is not legal advice, but only an effort to provide generalized information about important topics related to employment and the law. Legal advice can only be rendered after formal retention of counsel, and must take into account the facts and circumstances of a particular case. Those in need of legal advice, counsel or representation should retain competent legal counsel licensed to practice law in their locale.  

Sklover Working Wisdom™ is a trademarked newsletter publication of Alan L. Sklover, of Sklover & Company, LLC, a law firm dedicated to the counsel and representation of employees in matters of their employment, compensation and severance. Nothing expressed in this material constitutes legal advice. Please note that Mr. Sklover is admitted to practice in the state of New York, only. When assisting clients in other jurisdictions, he retains the assistance of local counsel and/or obtains permission of local Courts to appear.  Copying, use and/or reproduction of this material in any form or media without prior written permission is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved. For further information, contact Sklover & Company, LLC, 10 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, New York 10020 (212) 757-5000.    

Repairing the World,
One Empowered – and Productive – Employee at a Time™

© 2013, Alan L. Sklover All Rights Reserved. Commercial Use Prohibited.

About Our Working Beliefs

Published on August 2nd, 2013 by Alan L Sklover

1. No employee is entitled to a job. No employer is entitled to a slave.

2. Employees owe a duty of loyalty to their employers. Employers owe a duty of fairness to their employees.

3. Employees should give their honest, full-time, best efforts. Employers should recognize and appreciate such efforts.

4. Employees must earn their compensation. Employers must pay compensation when earned.

5. In determining bonuses, managers should have some discretion. In their own bonuses, managers should not be selfish.

6. Employees should leave personal issues out of the office. Employers must recognize valid family and personal needs.

7. Employees should always give employers notice before leaving. Employers should always give employees notice before firing.

8. No employee should live in fear of harassment, hostility or retaliation. All employers should be held accountable for those behaviors.

9. The essence of Employment is collaboration. Collaboration requires mutual trust and respect.

10. Employees are human beings. Employees are not “human resources.”

 Repairing the World –
One Empowered and Productive Employee at a Time™

© 2013 Alan L. Sklover, All Rights Reserved.

“Am I all washed up?”

Published on May 16th, 2012 by Alan L Sklover

Question: Alan, I have been out of work for 3 years. I am 44, and female. I feel more and more like I will not revive my career and in my last position I was a Director. I was able to secure a contract position as a Chief Marketing Officer, but that was only for 2.5 months because the company I was with went bankrupt and was acquired. I continue to have a good relationship with the former CEO of that company but have been unable to leverage that into a new role.

Sadly I am quite good at what I do, but I find myself out of money, out of ways to spin my reason for such a large employment gap. I had a stint in a retail job as a holiday seasonal employee, but even since then finding a job in retail has been difficult. The issue there seems to be my educational background and work history and “not needing the job as much as someone lesser educated or without having had a career like you did.”

What on earth am I to do? I am desperate to the point that I started lying on retail job applications (I stopped as I did not feel right about doing this – and realized it is cause for termination if I am found out.)

My dilemma is: Will I ever get hired again, at the level I should, or has the gap finished my career as I have another 2 year gap during the “dot com” bust?

Am I all washed up?

Unemployed, Disheartened and Underemployed
Orlando, Florida

Answer: Dear U, D and U: My heart goes out to you. Your predicament is palpable, and your sense of being overwhelmed is understandable. Permit me to offer a few thoughts that I hope will help:         

1. In difficult times, you need to focus on your core values. When it seems that winds are blowing you over, rain threatens to drown you, and lightning and thunder roar, the first question is: Where is safety? In the storms that threaten you, safety is to be found in your core values. What is most important to you . . . Is it Career? Family? Prestige? Health? Financial security? From an introspective review of your core values, you will inevitably begin to (a) see what is most important to you, and (b) find a path to or toward it. It may sound like pithy nonsense, but it is as simple as “Where do I want to go?” and “Then, what is the most direct way to get there?” I don’t pass judgment on other peoples’ core values. But I am uncomfortable with those who don’t take the time to decide, in truth, what it is that they want.

2. In the meantime, of course, you need to survive financially. I must admit that, while it is very easy for me to “preach” to you from afar, I do want you to know that I have been, in my more difficult years, what most people would call “near the bottom.” In those times I just picked a goal, and said to myself, “Come heck or high water, that is where I am headed.” Financially, times were so tight for me that when I look back, I shudder. But I made a plan, and I generally followed that plan – with plenty of detours, I must admit –  the harder times are now behind me.

In the meantime, though, I did have to put up with the discomfort and indignity of an excruciatingly frugal life, near monastic, in which coworkers made fun of my clothes, and a pocketful of coins – not bills – was my kind of financial security. Taking things day by day, dollar by dollar, at least in the meantime, is the way to get yourself through this difficult financial time, and back on financial footing. Don’t fret the discomfort and indignity: they will not last forever. 

3. Remember that all work is honorable, if done with dignity. Start wherever you can. Never, ever be ashamed of your job. Whether it is working as a companion to the infirm, a clerk in a dry cleaner, or as a cleaning person, the work you do is honorable if you do it with dignity. It is no crime, and it is no embarrassment, to be in difficult times. The crime and the embarrassment are in not taking on a task available to you that can help you survive financially. Part-time, live-in, temporary, or whatever, if a job puts food on the table, and keeps the lights turned on, it is entirely worthwhile. Self-reliance yields self-respect, no matter what may be the work you do.

4. In your circumstances, I don’t think it is truly wrong to “deflate” your resume or job history. As I have written before, while I almost always insist on “resume honesty,” in certain circumstances I believe “resume deflation” is a victimless offense, and so I condone it in certain circumstances. Your circumstances, in my view, qualify you as an acceptable candidate for “resume deflation” to keep you afloat. As to gaps in your employment history, I don’t see a downside to being frank and open about the difficulties you – and your employers – have had in this treacherous period in our economic lives. Don’t portray self-pity or fear of the truth: instead, project pride for being an amazing survivor.  

5. Forgive my optimism, but I am certain you will once again be hired for the job you deserve, if only you truly dedicate yourself to that goal. The more experience I have with working people, and it’s now over 30 years, the surer I become each day that (a) clarity as to core values, coupled with (b) determination and (c) dignity, will without question lead to (d) what you deserve. I have seen it 1,000 times. You really cannot keep a good man or woman down who knows what they want, who demands of themselves that they will – one day – get it, and who don’t see worn shoes or dirtied hands as a source of shame, but as a reason for pride.

6. And, too, you need to ensure you survive spiritually. While the body needs food, the soul needs its own source of nourishment. If you pray, consider praying for nothing but what I call “The Three S’s.” It is my custom to pray twice each day for just three things: (i) Strength, at least enough to contend with the demands of each day, (ii) Stamina, the continuing strength to maintain my efforts from one day to the next, and the next day after that, too, and (iii) Serenity, that inner calm that comes only from knowing I have “done my best to do my best” in everything I have done. It’s funny, but asking for only these three things – and not a winning lottery ticket – always ends with my prayers being answered.

If you do not pray, consider that special spirit within each of us that just refuses to give up, and is responsible for so many incredible feats of caring, courage and compassion. It is that special spirit that will keep you going forward, out of the storm and into the sun, that is within you, at all times. That special spirit is surely waiting for you, so simply tap into it and live by it. It goes by lots of names; no matter what you call it, it is there for you.      

Trust me, please: you are not “washed up.” Perhaps weary, and surely a little “weathered,” but your best days are absolutely ahead of you, so long as you are as convinced of that as I am.  

And, too, when you have pursued this path, and followed your goal, through thick and thin, you will surely look back with great pride. Freud said it pretty well: “In later years, when you look back, the times of greatest struggle will surely be remembered as the sweetest.”      

Very, Very Best,
Al Sklover

P.S: Got a friend facing Job Loss, Severance, Resignation, Bully Boss, or Performance Improvement Plan? Our Model Letters are a “Helping Hand Gift for a Friend in Need.” Just [click here] to view our list.

Repairing the World –
One Empowered and Productive Employee at a Time ™

© 2012 Alan L. Sklover, All Rights Reserved.

“My former employer has literally destroyed me. What can I do?”

Published on June 10th, 2011 by Alan L Sklover

Question: I am a Plumbing Designer, a small segment of the building design community. After 11 months of my case against my former employer in the Virginia Employment Commission, a decision was made in my favor: my former employer can tell people that they terminated me, but they can’t say they terminated me for misconduct. Problem is: for 11 months, that is what they told prospective employers and recruiters.

At 61 years old, I just can’t wait a few years for the “air to clear.” I’m unemployed, my house is in foreclosure, and my meager savings and retirement are wiped out. My wife even sold her wedding ring to help.

My spiritual convictions tell me that retribution is a “dead end.” Yet, I feel this company, with deliberation, sought to destroy me . . . and they certainly have succeeded. There is no space here for substantiation of the facts, but I have to do something. Or is it “Just my tough luck.” A word or two from your professional experience would be helpful. Thank you!

                                                                                 Steve
Clover, South Carolina

Answer: Dear Steven:  

Every now and then, a letter comes from one of our blog readers that simply MUST be answered, and I find yours to be one. I will, as you ask, share a word or two from my professional experience, but I hope you don’t mind if I share some personal thoughts, as well. My law practice draws upon both, and I believe one enhances the other.

1. First, I must admit that I am not, and have not, “walked in your shoes.” I must admit to you that I have not been, and am not now, “in your shoes.” I am your age, but I have not had the misfortunes you now face. I can tell from your letter that you are a proud man, yet at the moment you feel beaten, discouraged and hopeless. Very few can say they “know how you feel,” but I am certain it feels quite painful, and at the same time, also numbing. Please understand that, while I don’t share your present problems, I do recognize them, and I do feel bad for you, and hope I can help you, in some small way.   

2. When overwhelmed, I pray for three simple things: Strength, Stamina, and Serenity. Above all, you must endure. You must go on. You must commit yourself to survive. You cannot – if just for the sake of your wife and other loved ones – permit your former employer to “destroy” you, as you wrote. You just cannot permit anyone to do that to you and your loved ones. Instead, you must pledge to yourself – and to those who love you – that you will not permit that to happen. When overwhelmed, I ask God for nothing but (i) the strength to get up each day and face the world until bedtime, (ii) the stamina to do that each next day, seven days a week, and (iii) sufficient serenity inside my soul to say to myself, “I am proud, if not for anything else, that I stand up to all that I face.” I promise you that, if you do the same, it will be granted to you. I’m certain.

3. Though it sure sounds trite, counting your blessings is both soothing and sustaining. You are alive, sounds like you have your health, you have a wife, you have a trade, and quite likely so many other things that are, truly, blessings of the first order. Keep that in mind. And keep in mind, too, that there are many “wealthy” people out there with far less than you have. Go over a list of them each morning, and again each evening. It is both soothing and sustaining.

4. Chances are, you’ll never get “justice” or “retribution” from your former employer. I see many situations between employees and employers that suggest to me the best thing is simply to “drop it.” In these situations, it just seems that devoting more time, effort, thought and resources to the problem is inevitably going to result in nothing but a “deeper hole.” In these situations, it seems to me that the smartest thing to do is to redirect that same time, effort, thought and resources, in a positive fashion, to taking care of yourself and your loved ones. It might be paying a bill, finding a part-time job, or even a small but comfortable apartment. Put that energy and that effort only into positive directions, and surely your former employment relation is not one of those. Is it, as you say, “Just my tough luck?” I’d rather say, it was a negative in your life, but surely not a reason to abandon all that is positive in your past, your present and your future.

5. Don’t just “wait for the air to clear,” but rather choose a “new path” and “take positive steps” on that path each moment of each day. You may not think so, but I surely believe that your skills, your experience, your intelligence, your perspective, your understanding, your patience, and the support of those who love you are more than enough to get you on to a better path, and on your way down that path. It may be teaching young people the fine art of Plumbing Design, or as a deli clerk, or working at a gas station. But each day you have the opportunity that so many others don’t or won’t have: another day.

Steven, you say you “have to do something.” I hope and pray that you have the courage not to do anything that is not good for you and your loved ones. Others have already done that: they’ve treated you unfairly and even cruelly. Please don’t make it worse, or help them do more harm to you, or even do the same unfairness or cruelty to yourself. You’re much too smart and valuable for that. And, I hope, too focused and determined. “Living well is, indeed, the best revenge.”   

My Very Best,
Al Sklover

© 2011 Alan L. Sklover, All Rights Reserved.

“My job is definitely ‘The Job from Hell.’ Any ideas?”

Published on September 21st, 2010 by Alan L Sklover

Question: I work for a real estate management company that is co-owned by a mother, son and daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law’s brother also works here.

I have a vey stressful position of handling all of the tenants’ maintenance complaints. The tenants are negative. The owners are negative. The daughter-in-law is also the office manager, and she is negative about everyone, except herself. She takes off for days at a time and then comes back with a vengeance as to why things did not get done in her absence.

I can’t get maintenance people to stay working for us because of the people I work for, and the low pay scale.

I need this job, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Every day my stomach hurts, I get headaches, and my neck and shoulders stiffen up.

Any advice?

         Jonelle 
         Wayzata, Minnesota 

Answer: Dear Jonelle, I wish I could offer you suggestions, solace and support, and ideas for how you might change things around. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can.

Some jobs are just so rotten that they are just not possible to change. Your job – and the family that employs you – seem to be that rotten.

I have given many hours of thought to the subject of difficult employment relations. I’ve come to this conclusion: with any employment relation that is not a good, satisfying, productive employment relation, you have just three possible alternatives:

a. Accept the employment relation “as is.”
b. Improve the employment relation, if you can.
c. Abandon the employment relation as soon as you can.

Considering what you have told me, even though it is very hard to find a new job, I suggest that you do all you can to find a new job as soon as you can. You might start looking in the same industry – real estate management – because that is where your experience would probably help you the most find a new job quickly.

You have also mentioned the negative effects your job has on your health. May I remind you that “Without your health, you have nothing.” Anything that makes you sick must be removed from your life as soon as possible.

I wish I could offer you some ideas for improving the situation. I believe the best thing would be to leave, leave as soon as possible, and leave any way you can. On your own time, I do suggest that you engage in additional activities that you find stress-reducing, such as exercise, prayer, meditation, extra time with loved ones, or anything else, so long as it is not an unhealthy habit, such as drinking or smoking. This is a time to de-stress, to the extent possible. I have taken up yoga, which I find does wonders for me. 

Hope this helps. Hang in there. If you pray, pray for “The Three S’s”:  Strength to get you through the day, Stamina to get you through the week, and Serenity to get you to a better place, job-wise, health-wise, and emotion-wise.

My very, very best to you.

           Al Sklover  

© 2010 Alan L. Sklover, All Rights Reserved.


Alan L. Sklover

Alan L. Sklover

Employment Attorney
and Career Strategist
for over 35 years

Job Security and Career Success now depend on knowing how to navigate and negotiate to gain the most for your skills, time and efforts. Learn the trade secrets and 'uncommon common sense' of Attorney Alan L. Sklover, the leading authority on "Negotiating for Yourself at Work™".

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