“How can I make my employer open emails I send him complaining about Human Resources?”

Question: I have submitted emails to my employer complaining about things the HR/Office Manager/Bookkeeper in our office has been doing and saying about other employees and me. She is a very bullying person. However, he deletes my emails without reading them.

I’ve also complained to him in person, but I feel like I am hitting a brick wall. I believe he is friends with her, but nothing more.

Any suggestions?

         Wallingford, Connecticut 

Answer: From what you’ve written, especially that one person is in charge of HR, Office Management and Bookkeeping, it sounds like your company is a small one. In your situation, as in many smaller companies, I think you need to think this way:  “HR and your boss are the same thing. If you are complaining about HR, you are really complaining about your boss.”

Yes, “HR and Your Boss are really the same thing.”

I say this because by now your boss must know what the HR Manager is doing. If he hasn’t stopped her from being a bully, and doing and saying things about others, you have to conclude that the HR Manager is doing what he wants her to do, and is doing it in the way he wants it done.

The reason, I believe, he is not opening up your emails is that he expects they will be complaints, and he has no desire to read more. Unless something changes his view of things, he is quite unlikely to stop doing that.

The only thing that might make your boss change “his” ways – and, thus, HR’s ways – is if he comes to believe that his interests are in jeopardy. Either that he will lose money, or employees, or customers, or suffer in some other way. It is a fundamental truth about people: people will not change their ways unless they feel they need to.

What you have to do is figure out what it is that might make your boss believe it is in his own interests to open your emails, acknowledge their receipt, and perhaps make the HR Manager change her ways. I wish I could help you in that, but you are the one who knows him, knows his business, and knows what he cares about.

Give it some thought. It is the Number One thing all employees must do – regardless of the size of their company – to “navigate and negotiate” to get what they want, need and deserve at work.

Hope that helps. Thanks for writing in. Please consider subscribing to our blog – it’s free, and definitely worth the price!

          Best, Al Sklover

© 2010 Alan L. Sklover, All Rights Reserved.

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