Sklover’s Monday Thought: “Forgiveness Enlarges the Future.”

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

– Paul Boese

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There is just so much room in the human psyche, just so many years in the human life, just so much that the human heart can feel. To needlessly devote any part of these precious aspects of life to past disappointment, unfairness or mistreatment is simply and surely neither wise nor in your best interests. You can and deserve to do better than that . . . for yourself.

This subject comes up quite frequently in my practice. When abused or hurt, you can either turn backward or turn forward. You either move to “the dark,” or you move to “the light.” The choice, surely not an easy one, is certainly an important one. It can make a real difference in the quality of the rest of your life.

After all, what is “forgiveness” other than an intentional decision to abandon resentment and anger. Complete forgiveness is not always possible, but moving on to better people and better places surely is.

Forgiving others, even those who don’t deserve forgiveness, is really a matter of forgiving yourself for “trusting the unworthy,” “not seeing it coming,” and not being able to effectively “fight back.” Get over it, get past it, don’t look back, look beyond it. Retain, though, the lesson that “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge your future.” It is really true, it really works, it really does.

Just last week a client having difficulty “getting past his past,” sent me a “Thank You” note that read, “Thanks, Al, for the advice that I really needed to hear.

This valuable quote was recently sent to us by Barbara D. of Minneapolis, Minnesota, where I lived many years ago, about which I have retained nothing but fond memories. Thank you, my friend, Barbara!

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